Welcome, to this new step in your life! It's only one peg down from owning a screaming bundle and much more enjoyable. What type do you fancy? So many options, you say? Not one-hundred-percent sure, are you? No problem at all—just scour the virtual shelves for a wonderful step!
You've been spinning that clicker for quite some time now, d—Ahh yes! That one is handsome, isn't he? And foreign too, from German those black squiggles are saying. Does he mind being shipped across the world? No worries; you want him! Just type in that pin and assassinate the order button!
It'll take a couple of days so keep busy for now. That's right, moving screens are quite entertaining, enough to distract you for seven whole sunrises. Ding Dong! Oh goodie, he's here! Beautiful and inside silver wires just like you wanted! Freedom? Haha, pay no mind to that—he's all yours to keep!
Now, for a definitive phonetic to address him by... Well, with that black-top-brown-bottom coat and deep-set eyes, he reminds you of your father's brother's male child's friend. Jerry will do! Come here, boy! Hey now, what happened to Jerry? Ah, well, do as you please.
Remember to: Lay out pebbles for him every now and then—wouldn't want him to be gone so soon!
Drag him on strolls around the neighborhood—with a chain, of course, can't have him escaping!
Tie him to the tree in your yard during the day—great for keeping pests off the lawn (and that satchel-wearing man)!
Constantly show off pictures to your friends—let him become your single personality trait and drive everyone away!
And get rid of those burdensome dangles—all those yapping pups would be quite irksome (not to mention expensive)!
Now, you are prepared to voyage into this exciting step! Make him smil—oh dear, those teeth don't look very friendly!—a simple side by side will do. But my! Those eyes look quite sad. Quite a simple fixer-upper! Just snap a low-cut of that neck cuf—er, bracelet, you bought!
There you go! Own this one for as long as you wish. If you ever get tired or think him too old, just stop by for another scroll and we'll be more than happy to bring you a brand new step!