RubyRedDreams

United States

-she/her
-should get a life but I haven't found out what store sells them yet and I'm broke
-not the best writer but I enjoy it
-I'm the reason teachers have a page limit on essays.

Message from Writer

You are valid.
Katelyn is my favorite person in the entire world.

Please Help Me (A Rant)

September 12, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
I want to talk to people.
I want to tell my friends that I love them,
And that I'm here for them no matter what.
I want to ask them if there is anything I can do,
Tell them I want to be a part of their life.
But it stops me.

By it I mean my dumb brain.
Everytime it tells me that they secretly hate me,
Or that they'll think I'm being insincere,
Or that they don't think that we're that close.

And then time goes by and I haven't talked to any of them in like...
Forever.
And I want to say that I miss them and we should talk more,
And I wanna just hear their voices again, 
And talk about anything, just...
Anything.

But I can't,
Because my dumb brain tells me that I'm a terrible person,
And they won't wanna hear from me,
And that they're glad we haven't talked in a while,
Or that they're probably too busy anyway.
They've probably made knew friends,
Friends who are better than you,
So why would you think they'd wanna hang out with you?

And then I chicken out and I'm just sitting here,
Lonely,
Day dreaming about seeing them again,
Missing them so much,
And yet I just sit here,
Too wrapped up in my own fear to do anything.
Does anyone else ever have this happen? Or am I just insane.

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  • September 12, 2020 - 2:30pm (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Awww, this is heartbreaking! In this time, we all need to unite and stand together. (Wow, sorry for the cheesy sounding G rated movie line...) But anyway, we’re all here for you! And don’t let your fear hold you back from talking to your friends. I’ll pray for you, and I’m always here if you need anything!


    5 months ago
  • Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)

    This happens to me ALL THE TIME! You're not alone, love! <3


    5 months ago
  • HelpMe512

    Yeah this happens to me so often. Sometimes it's super hard to remember that your friends are your friends for a reason - because they care about you. Brains are wack


    5 months ago
  • madeline3.14159

    You are definitely not alone!!!! Personal storytime... I went from public school to homeschool this year and I really miss my friends, but everytime I try to contact them my brain just makes me second guess myself and I start to think they don't like me and only hung out with me cause they didn't want me to feel bad. So yeah. Brains are kinda evil. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here and I love human communication :)


    5 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    This poem is too relatable. You are absolutely NOT insane. I think questioning our sanity is one of the most sane things to do. I agree with everything Paisley Blue said. Hang in there! Us WtWers will always be here for you if you ever want to rant again. :)


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    First of all, you are not alone in this. This happens to me all the time. Brains can be the worst, sometimes. You're just as sane as I am (-Luna Lovegood)
    Secondly, I'm really sorry your brain is doing this to you. I don't know you nor your friends, but I can tell you that they probably miss you dearly and want to hear from you, but they too are scared to sent that text. If they are your friends, they will not judge you--and as for them making other, better friends, I'm POSITIVE that no matter how many friends they have, they will always have room for you. I know it's hard to see past the things your mind tells you, but if you send that text, write that email, reach out to them, I know everything will turn out okay.
    All my love and support <3


    6 months ago