midnight.summerrose

United Kingdom

Rose
I love writing. ❤️
Probably daydreaming. ✌️
Inspire others, love yourself.
I'm back, but I'm not going to be that active!

Message to Readers

Please comment/like/ peer review. I would be grateful for anything!! This is my actual draft 2/3. The other one was the same! Thank you for all of your support!!

I Will Give You Wings

September 19, 2020


Hope is a fragile thing. Once lost, it is hard to regain.

Day 503, 1834, America

I am a human. I am not just an animal, doing your work, breaking my back for you. I am not like a wind-up toy, tearing my mechanisms apart for you.

I am like a wild animal, ensnared by your endless net. Free me from your wide net, encircling me with toxicity. You are my poison and I will die.

You work me, break me and then expect me to respect you.

You numbered me; I am not just a number. You beat me constantly; drawing blood from my veins. Dread captivates me, so that I cannot move.

You are my master, yet I am no dog. I do not want to come as soon as you call. Yet, I oblige from fear.
What are you? You have no real morals and emotions. You whip people within an inch of their life and break us day in, day out. Life itself becomes a punishment.
***
“Slave 16, please report to work immediately. I repeat, slave 16 to work immediately.” The audacity, Jasmine thought. Why should I come at your beck and call? She buried the book she’d been writing in beneath the dusty sand and then hurried back to work.

The ground was rock hard and cracks like veins scattered the floor like stars, silent, but deadly. The sandy coloured landscape looked almost peaceful; it was like a hot beach, except there was no sea to escape to.
It had been 10 days since Jasmine had lost her only friend in the world. The work was like darkness at the best of times and Esmie had been her only light; she was a ray of sunshine, glimmering in the darkness. Now there was no light and no hope. Life had become almost bearable with Esmie, but now it was just inky darkness.

The sky was an angry red; it glared down at you like a disappointed parent. The only indication of time was the sun’s circular routine of rising and setting. Nobody could appreciate the beauty of it because they were too busy trying not to pass out from the immense heat.

Jasmine rubbed her back, easing the pain ever so slightly. It was no use trying to prevent pain, you just had to embrace and endure it. To be honest, Jasmine thought, pain is the only thing that makes me feel like I’m actually living. I am like a ghost; not dead yet though.

Jasmine’s black hair was a matted mess from the blood. Jagged scars climbed her back like a spider. There was a singular crater-like scar running down her spine. Bones were poking through her skin from undernourishment. Her hands were a dirty black colour; her palms laced with sores; the skin was peeling off her hands; hanging on by a thread. She could not remember when she’d last had a hot shower.

As she passed the cemetery, Jasmine could see Esmie’s grave. A miniature cross was poking out from the ground with her name. She remembered the day she’d buried the lifeless, limp body into the ground.

Jasmine lay Esmie’s body into the shallow hole, tears streaming down her face. They had met four long years ago, both scared children and had found comfort in one another. They had become inseparable: working, sleeping and eating together.

Hope was gone, but she still behaved impeccably in fear of punishment. She allowed herself the luxury of writing once every two weeks. Any more, and she would be caught immediately and face an eternity of punishments.
She had once been free: five long years ago. She remembered the shattering of her heart when she was yanked away from her parents. She desperately bit her captors and tried to writhe her way free. Her aristocratic background had not helped her; there was no money in the world that could free her now. She had developed a passion and thirst for writing, but it had been stripped from her in one fell swoop. Being the only child, she had all of the attention, which made her sadness even greater and she wallowed around in her misery.

Jasmine’s master had rules of every sin and the corresponding punishment. The copies were staring down at her from every commanding corner. She was constantly reminded of her sins, yet she felt writing was her silent defiance.
If you were to be caught stealing or anything considered worse, you would be hung from a rope tied to an impossibly high tree, as you desperately tried to keep your feet on the ground, or you would face death. You would be left there for hours on end, with nothing to look at bar the blazing sky. Breathing, existing, but not living.
She reported to the courtyard, where they would decide her fate; their work would be called out. The roll call began: “1: house duty, 2: field work, 3: sweeping duty, 4: maid work…” the list continued, Jasmine began to switch off. She was jolted into reality when her number was called “16: field work.” she let out a silent groan; her shoulders slumped down.

After hours upon hours of endless work, Jasmine had a break. They were allowed to eat a few meagre blackberries with stale bread. She would continue the back-breaking work for more endless hours after, until 10 o’clock.

Two years later…
***
Jasmine was awoken by quiet whispers. She was surrounded by white fairy lights and an off-white, creamy haze. She felt the grief and loss lift from her shoulders. It felt like a boulder had been taken from her like a feather would be plucked from a pillow. The people were dressed in white and had translucent, white wings.
Esmie, whispered in her ear, “Jasmine, time to go.” She found herself getting up and she walked towards the setting sun.
 
(Was I am A HUMAN)
Please comment what you think about this piece. This is the actual draft 2/3. I don't know why the second one was the same!! This is my actual updated version!! Thank you for your support. Comments can also be returned, just ask!! I would be grateful for any likes and peer reviews as well!!

Slavery was an awful thing. With BLM I felt that I could educate people about the  past, so that the future can be better. Please support BLM and educate yourself on this matter. We need to do better! Racism is still happening everywhere, I'm not saying that it will go away, but people need justice, no matter what the colour of their skin is.

I based this upon 12 Years A Slave mostly, as well as The Invention Of Wings and other books upon slavery.

Hope this clears up the theme for you all. :)

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14 Comments
  • RemovedUser1

    I just submitted a review! I was trying to ask questions that could be constructive, XD. This is a great piece, and I hope you do well!


    8 months ago
  • Starcatcher

    Nice, good improvements!


    8 months ago
  • Livsnjutare

    This is really good!!!!!
    Maybe you could tell us that it was a little African girl because at first I was confused, it might just be me though ;)

    Could you please leave a review on my first chapter? Here is the link,

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/191908/version/389200


    8 months ago
  • bookmagic

    Great second draft! Good luck with the competition


    8 months ago
  • JustAnotherDarling

    Re: ofc :) np!! and thank youuuu <3


    8 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    I appreciate it sososooo much! I'll try my best to return the favor but i've been super busy this weekend im not even sure how much time ill even have to review my own lol


    8 months ago
  • mindfruit

    Wow, this is beautiful! Your original piece was good, but this is something else. Amazing job with the improvements. By the way, I think you forgot to italicize "To be honest pain is the only thing that makes me feel like I’m actually living. I am like a ghost; not dead yet though." Overall, though, this piece is really great.


    8 months ago
  • Landofstories

    re: this has improved so much - it really is an amazing piece!


    8 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Wow yes your opening is so much stronger and has improved so much, this is fantastic!


    8 months ago
  • Forever Your Loving Friend and Servant

    WOW! IT'S BEAUTIFUL! XD I LOVE IT!


    8 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    Re: Thanks!!
    Wow, first of all, let me say I love the new name! Second, it has approved a lot since the last time I read it! Great job!! :))


    8 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    This is really good!! It has improved a TON. Awesome job! Best of luck in the competition!!!


    8 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    I think this is amazing! I think maybe the main character is introduced a little late, because in the beginning it’s full of ‘you’s. Maybe give more background on the mc? Just a thought. Great work!!


    8 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    THIS PIECE IS INCREDIBLY WRITTEN! The first one was really good, but this..... A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. And heartbreaking. This is a phenomenal piece! *clapping* Good luck with the competition!


    8 months ago