cali | her | 14
an aspiring poet
trying to find inspiration in a monochromatic world
est. june 23, 2020
give us back our words.
Written By: Tho Nguyen
September 11, 2020
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This is so beautifully written! The imagery and diction here are brilliant.
your diction, using words like "lacquered" , "smear" , "saccharine" , & "lull" in the beginning is so so so eye catching and enchanting. i'm obsessed, and even with the smaller words, each one seems hand crafted and dipped in gold, gosh, so good!
"perhaps to scatter somnolent symphonies whose / obsidian notes dust the ground"
this abstract imagery is everything!! the alliteration you have in the first part and the overall feel is amazing.
"and melts at the kiss of night / they say her feathers fly across the horizon / and that is what gives sunsets their burning radiance"
favorite lines! i love the description of unique characterization and the metaphors and imagery and diction these lines possess.
"city angel, did your tears fall just as your feathers did?"
one of the best rhetorical questions i've ever read---the brilliance and symbolism and sorrow her is heartbreakingly beautiful!
"but blank pages are sewn into the legends for a reason / for the journey has just begun."
talk about an ending, what a punch this packed in such a subtle way!
Replying: Thanks for the birthday wishes, you’re so kind :) Also, I totally get that, sometimes my writing changes drastically in comparison to the first draft.
"the symphony has long since ended,
split and broken across the corners of the earth
forlorn instruments creak, yearning to quiver with the power of those notes once again" thank u for blessing the dash with this *bows*
I am absolutely in love with this. Everything from the personification of some other being to the fact that it was written during a discussion about Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. That first stanza is just so breathtakingly beautiful that no matter what I say can do it any justice. Your writing is just so magnificent and I can't explain how much I adore and love it.
i'm def gonna properly comment in the morning--stay tuned!
so beautiful! :)
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