Peer Review by ACDS (United States)

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You Know It’s Dangerously Hazy When Seattle Has No Color

By: Karma's_Coming


FREE WRITING


Suffocation by heat and smoke.
The waving of a close hand wrongly detected. 

It’s a reality of apocalyptic chains,
resulting in the endless cold showers in a hazardous house. 

You know it’s dangerous when it rains ashes instead of water. 

Packed bags prepared for if I hear a shrill ring.
They hold shirts, a unique book, and all my writing journals. 
I’ll admit to the internal tears I shed when my father said we would have to leave the goat behind. 

You know it’s dangerous when people dread opening the door to let their dog out. 

A simple walk to the gate requires a mask.
And not because of a virus. 
No, this is an imposter. 
A poser that looks familiar,
but reeks like the sins of a dying man. 

Ever evident,
Ever lingering. 

California burned,
it passed on to Oregon.
The smoke blew to Washington,
and it burned too.
 

It seems to me, like the news keeps getting worse and worse. It’s almost comedic. Emphasis on almost. 

Peer Review

I... I was just ignorant to the suffering of other people just on the other side of my country and the fear people must be going through.


...I'd kind of like to know what the city actually looks like in this piece. I'm not sure it could be done in a way that doesn't mess up the original poem, but maybe like an establishing shot outside a window at the beginning or just before the end.


Reviewer Comments

I haven't watched the news in weeks I had no clue this was a thing (other than in "uh oh the volcano's acting up honey"). I, uh, I hope you're okay.