ek503

United States

joined april 27, 2020
she/her
wasian

Message to Readers

hey just a heads-up that this is in no way a post about social anxiety. i’m a happily chaotic mess in front of most people, but i do have frustrating moments when i freeze up and become the equivalent of a stone wall for a bit. it’s nothing major and definitely getting better, but i really wish i hadn’t made this habit when i was younger (oh, the things i did to avoid being noticed) because boy do habits take effort to break. anywho, thanks for tolerating my rambling <3

hardly / a statue

September 9, 2020

FREE WRITING

13

i came to reflexively trace / the junctions of people and eyes / and soon i learned to hold still / still / still / i haven’t escaped the inescapable and / sometimes i just have to / hold still / still / still / i fear / skeletal remains after fadings of formalities and / quivers of my shirt to the time of my heart / that catch in the eyes and necks of others. / perhaps sometimes (always) / i fear / a noticing of my very living. / my stillness / disappears in tantrums and / comes crawling back again / unwelcome. / i’ll hand you my chaos / just give me a second / or ten / to unstick the stillness stuck in my throat. / i swear i’m not cold / i swear / i swear i / swear i’m / not / don’t go. /

back / tense / fingers / stiff / arms / muted / face / iced. /

there are always strings attached / attached to living / and wrapped around my body / too. / they’re fraying / shedding / molting with chips of my sun-burned skin / but all to the sedated crawl of / i-told-you-so and you-shouldn’t-have-tied-these-yourself. /

i suppose i taught myself / too well / too well / too / well. /

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  • September 9, 2020 - 4:52pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • BlueOwl

    replying: that's so cool! What language do you and your mom speak in?
    I honestly don't really know how I got into writing lol. I bought an old typewriter in the beginning of January at an antiques fair and instead of just daydreaming about millions of unlikely scenarios, I would type them. By the time I discovered WtW, I had many pieces (and saw an opportunity to get feedback on them). Now writing is my go-to thing. I'm always writing something somewhere lol. How about you?
    (btw, you're the first person to actually reach out! *squeals in joy* this is so cool!!)


    3 months ago
  • Lata.B

    " molting with chips of my sun-burned skin" oh gosh I love this! This poem is so so so relatable..and the way you put is perfect!
    Oh ANDDD thank you so much for your sweet comment! :)


    3 months ago
  • Century Friend

    This is so relatable, and I love the way you depicted it, especially the repeating words.


    3 months ago
  • Abrianna

    Thanks so much for the comment! Also love this piece is very cool. I like your message to readers, "i’m a happily chaotic mess in front of most people,"


    3 months ago
  • acrosstheuniverse28

    Just reading this I could feel the anxiety, fear, and tension in myself! Amazing writing, and you did such an awesome job at portraying the many emotions and feelings that comes with trying to not be noticed. Such a powerful piece!


    3 months ago