chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

republished after a long time. haven't been writing as much.

the car ride before morning volleyball practice

November 8, 2020

FREE WRITING

17

moon rings in alarm
pillbug blinks away overnight tears and 
bends itself out of bed painfully
staggers out of one reverie into another one
after-sleep stupor keeps eyes glazed
tired fingers tilting / contact lenses plopping 
softly onto wet marble sink tops 
i stretch my eyes open until it 
bulges, sheds tears inadvertently 
slippery plastic adheres sloppily and shifts
sliding sharply over and under eyelid iris folds 
i blink and i don't know if i can actually see better or not

feels like my stomach is made of rubber
sterile and blooming out of grooves, patted dry 
only to be shocked sour by sweet
cereal milk / phlegm sticking to my vocal chords
i pull my knee pads down to my ankles and 
scratch at my permanently bruised kneecaps
car headlights are another two moons to add to my 
morning solar system, scraping 
legs on car doors and velcro violin straps
we are not late yet, traffic leans until it 
falls off the edge of consciousness
listening to music and four minutes to pretend 
reality isn't waking up early 

volleyball girls out of bed but not awake 
all by the light of the moonlight and the
blinking lamp next to the gym door
dreading the coach's voice and 
flaking yellow paint off our lockers 
before seven o'clock, be in the gym and 
setting up the net
smells a little like burning wet wood and 
old deodorant, slipping on gym floor as we
stumble through our cycles
something keeps my eyes from opening all the way 
stomach feels a little upset but runs laps nonetheless
the brightest room in the world must be our gym right now
ah, the tiredest room in the world must be our gym right now


 
9/8/2020

listened to patchwork staccato by juliet simmons (the cover by nameless or the english cover by jubyphonic) and it brought me back to the car ride before seventh grade morning volleyball practice. i miss volleyball a little and i probably won't be able to play it this year. there's a chance i might never play again it. well, i didn't practice much at all during quarantine so maybe this is for the better. i miss it though. might write more abt it? idk. 

Print

See History
  • November 8, 2020 - 1:32am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

8 Comments
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks you!


    15 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    "car headlights are another two moons to add to my
    morning solar system/ scraping
    legs on car doors and velcro violin straps" ahhh omg hOW howww have you made the abso-frickin lutely mundane activity of dragging one's ass outta bed and into school this poetic i cannot- beautiful as always!!!
    ngl kinda made me miss throwball practices hahaaa, i can't play volleyball for the life of me, anyway hope ur doin ok :)


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow, the part where you describe contact lenses is SPOT ON!! This whole piece is so dreamy and vivid. Wow. This makes me nostalgic for something I've never had (i don't play sports) like always, your writing is so beautiful! <3


    2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    aaa this made me miss my soccer games :'(( lovely lovely


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I'm not a sports person, but I'd still love to hear more about your volleyball experiences. And writing about it might help you move on without letting it go? I hope you get to keep playing though.


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "pillbug blinks away overnight tears and
    bends itself out of bed painfully"
    That is so freaking ADORABLE
    "car headlights are another two moons to add to my
    morning solar system,"
    "we are not late yet, traffic leans until it
    falls off the edge of consciousness"
    "the brightest room in the world must be our gym right now
    ah, the tiredest room in t"e world must be our gym right now"
    Gosh I know I just quoted too many lines but I can't help it! The milk/phlegm on your vocal chords totally hit home for me because I sing lol. This piece is somehow absolutely wonderful, despite it just being about waking up way too early.


    3 months ago
  • inanutshell

    this is such a lovely vignette of a memory, so descriptive and love all the imagery here, but especially "feels like my stomach is made of rubber/sterile and blooming out of grooves, patted dry/only to be shocked sour by sweet/cereal milk/phlegm sticking to my vocal chords". agree w/ ek503 that you've made this usually small moment feel so visceral!

    also you play volleyball? i always admire volleyball players bc of just how hard that sport is. i had to play it for PE in school & it was one of the most painful lessons lol. hope you get to play it again :(


    3 months ago
  • ek503

    alsdkhgasd i feel like all of your pieces are stunning no matter what they're about. "i stretch my eyes open until it / bulges, sheds tears inadvertently / slippery plastic adheres sloppily and shifts / sliding sharply over and under eyelid iris folds" gorgeous. and i relate to the process too much :) "feels like my stomach is made of rubber / sterile and blooming out of grooves, patted dry / only to be shocked sour by sweet / cereal milk / phlegm sticking to my vocal chords" um how do you make eating breakfast early such a visceral experience to read about?? i love this so much and it reminds me of how my stomach always does some acrobatic nonsense if i eat too early. beautiful piece!!


    3 months ago