Lata.B

United States

"You are grand from your toes to your head. Take a deep breath and let that sink in."

Message to Readers

I'm doing a review for a review! Comments are also really appreciated! Thank you in advance for all the support! :)

The Wind Had Warned Us

September 14, 2020

Time: 10:37 pm
Date: March 14, 1997
Place: Phaubari, Nepal


The gravel under his shoe gasps for help as he sets the cigarette in his mouth. "Timi pagal hau?" ("are you crazy?") I ask staring at the smirk on his face. He arches his eyebrow as if to ask me if I want one.

"Tini huru le talai yahi thoki delan" ("They might shoot you on the spot") I mutter under my breath.

He lets out a puff of grey smoke into my face "malai kasai le deha sakdai na" ("no one can see me").

Looking up at the stars I see their nervous glances and the moon tries not to look me in the eyes. I contract an uneasy feeling in my gut and ask him if we can go back into the house. 

"la" ("ok") he says even though his charcoal eyes want different. The wind lets out a chilly cry as we step inside and I see my Aama. Her forehead furrowed into a worried frown as she looks up.

"Kay bhayo?" ("What happened?") the concern flutters in his voice and surprises me, that's out of character for my brother.

"Gaun bheri hulla cha" ("There's a lot of talk in town") she answers glaring at the fly asleep on the wall.
"K kura?"("What talk?") I quickly ask before my brother can. 

"Maoists" she whispers and that word echoes through my mind. I can almost feel my panicked heartbeat in my head. Before any of us can say another word my sister comes into view. Her short black hair shines below, the only light bulb in the house. 

"Maoist k ho?" ("What is Maoist?") she asks, confusion rustles up on her small babyface. I look at my brother to see him glance at Aama. 

"Dheri naramro manche" ("bad, bad people") Aama says, exhaling all the worried feeling at once "la hidha sutha jauw" ("Let's go back to sleep"). She walks over and cradles my little sister back to the layer of sheets which we call our bed.

"Remember Buwa isn't a police officer and nobody smokes or drinks in this house." he says in broken English. For a minute I wonder why he didn't talk Nepali but then I understand; He doesn't want to scare Aama. 


Time: 12:28 am
Date: March 15, 1997
Place: Phaubari, Nepal


I get pushed awake by the terrified whisper of Aama. Panic floods my veins as the knocking at the door gets louder. Maoists. I look down to see my sister's sleepy eyes focused on mine. Her eyebrows ask me if it's safe to talk and I shake my head in response. I can feel the frightened wind fly inside as Aama unlocks the door. 

"Make us some food" ("Hami lai khana bahaunus") I see a few men gathered outside the doorway "Hami ramro vabisaya ko lagi fight gardi chau" ("We are fighting for a good future"). They all have green uniformed clothes on. 

"Bhai hal cha ni" ("oh, Y-yes of course!") Aama stammers "3 ota plate lau tha Neel" ("Neel get 3 plates").

I look at my brother for a sign of what to do. He nods his head an inch and I do as I am told. Still listening to every word of the conversation I walk to get the plates

"Timro nam ke ho?" ("and what's your name doll?") I hear and assume the question is directed to my sister.

"Reena" I barely catch her whisper as she answers him.

"Timro buwa khoi Reena?" ("So where's your dad Reena?") the other man asks suspiciously.

"Kaam ma" ("At work") she innocently replies.

My heart begins to race and I shut my eyes, wanting it all to stop, but my legs keep walking to the plates.

"Tapai haru lai sirak chahinchha? Bahira deri jado chha!" ("Do you need blankets? It's cold outside!") Aama interrupts trying to change the topic.

"Usle ke kam garcha?" ("What work does he do?"

"Mero buwa police ho!" ("He's a policeman!") she says proudly not know that sentence might as well be a promised death. 


That's when I hear three gunshots.
I know I have a long way to go until the final draft! BUT any comments so far?

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30 Comments
  • Landofstories

    I'll review! You don't have to but if you could review my historical fiction that'd be great! it's actually titled review for review too lol.


    about 1 year ago
  • ~Zoe~

    Ok, I just finished reviewing. Hopefully it gets to you soon!


    about 1 year ago
  • ~Zoe~

    Wow, This is really, really good. I will review it today or tomorrow. Do you mind checking my historical fiction story out? Thanks.


    about 1 year ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thanks for reading!! :)


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: Yay! And no problem :). I can’t wait to read it!


    about 1 year ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: awww, thank you so much!!


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: Thank you so much! I’m so glad you liked both my papers. And I’m glad you learned about it in my school; my little cousin said he didn’t know what 9/11 was. Your comment was so amazing! And thank you for reviewing! I can’t wait to read it!


    about 1 year ago
  • kealoha

    repling: Hey! Thanks :) lol, I love singing too, and what better place than the shower? XD


    about 1 year ago
  • lochnessie

    re: thanks!!
    this is amazing and so heartbreaking. good job :)


    about 1 year ago
  • amazing grace

    Reply: thanks I just like to say he or she in the reviews and didn't want to say the wrong one.


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Well, I didn’t have to do school right now (my mom’s doing something on the computer) so I wrote a review! It took a while, but I hope it’s helpful and encouraging!


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Replying: Haha, thank you! I’m so glad you liked it. I tried to use good imagery.
    And I probably won’t have time to finish the review now, but I’ll do it once I’m done with school XD. This deserves a really nice one! And if you want to review on of my pieces, I’m going to be posting my Historical Fiction first draft soon, so if you want, you can do that one. I’ve been doing/am doing a TON of research for this one (because every time I answer one question, ten more pop up). But, anyways, thank you!


    about 1 year ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aww, THANK YOU! That means so much to me! :) I’m happy to be able to put you in my message!


    about 1 year ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Re: Awww thanks for your comment I’m glad you liked it <3


    about 1 year ago
  • ek503

    wow, this is such a well-written piece. heartbreaking, but well-writtenly so :)


    about 1 year ago
  • books4life

    hey! I published a historical fiction piece that I would love your thoughts on! :) also your piece is SOOOOO SADDDDDDDDD I CANT COMPUTE! But great work, you really made me feel that strong emotion!


    about 1 year ago
  • ~madeline~

    Review complete :)


    about 1 year ago
  • ~madeline~

    Thanks! I will definitely review this piece!


    about 1 year ago
  • asimic

    !! I love this! You held my attention throughout the whole story.


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Oh my gosh! I didn't realize the beginning was for the competition! You've been working on it for a while. I can't do a review now, but I will! It's amazing and deserves one! I don't know anything about Nepal, so this is interesting!


    about 1 year ago
  • ~madeline~

    I love this piece so much, but in a sad sort of way. It is so touching and brings a depth to history.


    about 1 year ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Oh, I got that now. So, the narrator was in the kitchen when they killed the family... So sad!
    But they left the narrator alive? To infuse more terror?
    I can't imagine how people must have felt in those days! *sobs*


    about 1 year ago
  • sherry171

    REPLYING: I'd love to review this piece! I'm going to sleep now, but I'll do so tomorrow :)


    about 1 year ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Wowowoww this is incredible!!!


    about 1 year ago
  • Landofstories

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WOW I LOVE THIS!


    about 1 year ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Oh wow! Thanks for the review. You're always very sweet!
    So, the narrator wasn't he/she shot?
    I assumed she was also shot and recovered later.


    about 1 year ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    "back to the layer of sheets which we call our bed." Speaks a lot of their financial condition.

    " I can feel the frightened wind fly inside as Aama unlocks the door. " Beautiful line!

    Oh in the end... Such a twist! Three gunshots? But aren't there four people in the house? Whom did they spare and why?

    Re: Thanks a lot for your lovely comments. They made the sun look brighter! :)


    about 1 year ago
  • Emi

    I love how you expanded this for the competition! It really shows a part of Nepalese history many people (myself included) might not know. The ending, too...oh my gosh, I was getting ready to cry because it was so sad. Great work deepening these characters in such a short time.


    about 1 year ago
  • acrosstheuniverse28

    So good! Oh my goodness, I need a full story, that ending ;( Beautiful descriptions and wonderful writing! I love how much inferencing/filling in the dots you leave to the readers, it really helps to create tensions and suspense


    about 1 year ago
  • ChocolateKiwi

    Great piece!


    about 1 year ago