Peer Review by Busssy.Beee (United States)

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If I'm Real

By: Abrianna


FREE WRITING

"Hi, what's your name?" at the question she paused, 'Who will I be this time. Myself? Oh, I could never,' she thought.
"Hey, I'm Abrianna." 
The conversation went on as normal, until she asked something she was wondering all along, she wanted to show herself, because she thought, he at least will understand,
"What do you think of life?" she asked him. "Life?" he asked "I'm not sure I understand." she cringed, "Oh, of course you don't, I was just wondering if you ever thought life was just not worth it, because in books, you see, life was so much different.. 
There was Courage, Love, Sacrifice, Honor. And now, why now, everyone is so, so mediocre, and sensitive, and only a few are brave and there is not much real love left in the world because no one sacrifices there own time to spend on others, and people lie and no one has honer, and Oh, I am so tired of all this and all I want to do is sink into a book, and forget who the world is because I am a part of it. Everyone blames everything on society, when they are a part of society! And I have no friends because I can't be a part of them because their is such shallowness in the world, it makes it hard for me to breathe!" She paused, and he why, he didn't back up, or laugh like she was a child, but his eyes showed tears and he said, "I completely agree with you."
She smiled and thought her world complete, but only for a few weeks, and then he faded away too, and she why, she vowed never to give herself up to be hurt again. She sank further into her books, and writing, and thoughts...Since it was there alone that she was able to find the beautiful courage, and the selfless love that she craved to see...


Peer Review

Everything here is just so well-written. Emotion is depicted wonderfully and just the power in the words hold so much. There can be so much drawn from this, I feel like I can barely grasp onto its full meaning. Truly spectacular!


I think there are definitely enough details for this story. The message is definitely complete, so I would say this whole story is perfect just as it is.


Reviewer Comments

The way you spin your words, the way you let them sink into the reader, is outstanding. But one big thing, was the marvelous ending. The ending almost created a surreal atmosphere. It created the perfect way to end and left me with such a heavy thought. Absolutely amazing!