Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.

Message to Readers

i truly hate growing up, but not as much as when you start reflecting on everything that brought you to maturity. anyway, i've been lifelessly writing and editing this piece for two weeks until i've decided to share it with you, because this is definitely meant for you lovelies. anyway, school and work has me swamped and it seems my life's picked back up again. also, my best friend and i are working through some stuff (he's putting in an effort, cheers to that) and i've recently started talking to this guy and i haven't had a connection like this even with my last boyfriend. so let's hope this works out. idrk why i'm telling you all this but here i am regardless.

when you realize you're making a difference, leave wise words in hope the youth starts collecting

September 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

13

i've read enough classics to understand the art of
a true tragedy; depicted enough thoughts of characters
to know a few things about sensibility; ran my fingers
through the silkiness of imagery; and poured an abundance
of diction in my cup to know it'll never be enough. but at last,
this is where my prose has led me. i started back in my own
dark ages, when i believed poetry to be only the words and
formatting as they taught it to me.

my origins lie with my broken-hearted boy: he was bloody
and bruised, loving people the only way he knew how -
by using them to fuel his empty body and leaving them
wondering how. and he taught me the imperfection of
everything: you, me, us- taught me there's was always a
somebody in nobody, but also a nobody in somebody (it
depended on the eyes you wore and the type of reflecting
).
and though it wasn't much back then, just poetry with
tears and cliche collectings, simplicities and standard
formating, it was enough for me.

then i learned i wanted to be somebody and never a 
nobody,  convinced myself there had to be more than
just living; so i drew my dreams around the idea of writing,
prayed myself into a  religion worth worshipping, and bled
onto the mocking pages of dead trees. truly gained a
following through the magic of not finding myself, but creating
me through the broken pieces of my past being. because i
became the church mosaic of colored and handcrafted
through broken glass; figured out how to reuse the past
and not discard it like trash.

but now, i've accepted reality, agreed that we could marry:
it's okay to be nobody and somebody, it's just with who and
which you desire to be (it's all about time, darling, she told me).
so my proses became an art you admire in pieces, and i found
myself in love with that. as for the conventions, i shredded them
and rearranged them in the form of something to my liking,
not their's. 

now, i pride myself on:
collecting the words of unspoken  deities that are only known
to my personal beings; i've befriended the hearts who understood
my hurting; i've adopted the mind who fear their unknowing act
of conformity; and i fell in love with the souls that strung my
proems into jewelry.
because if there's one thing i know, no one
ever gets to where they are effortlessly.

so believe me,
this is only your beginning.
or in short terms: word vomit.

you know you're getting old when you don't understand people's references anymore, or understand the groups/clicks and their names. but hey, i suppose it's something when the newbies know your name? only you feel lowkey bad because inactivity means you have no idea who they are (and soon realize it when they aren't newbies anymore). so now you hate the idea of growing up and cling to this youth as best you can, but hey, even queens pass down their kingdoms eventually; so you collect the last of your favorites in your remaining years and smile lovingly and conversing best you can, so when you leave, you won't regret a thing.

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  • September 1, 2020 - 6:44am (Now Viewing)

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12 Comments
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    it's been far too long. i need to start catching up. just, god, i missed your writing so much. school's a fricking mass murderer of sanity, and i might be losing mine, but reading this made me feel so much better. just... i agree with the comment below. this just gives me so much... hope? "it's okay to be nobody and somebody, it's just with who and / which you desire to be" just, sldakjffsf excuse me but this reminds me of just piece i wrote a long time ago. smth abt "presumptuous epiphany"? just wow, i wrote that but it sounds like i really needed to hear that. like, i really did. sorry i'm not able to properly comment, but just... this is so amazing. this "coming-to-age" angst. your footnotes and this melancholy. i'm pretty young i think, but i really needed this piece. i'll try to drop by your notifs more often? missed you, love you <3333


    2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    also i missed something.your pieces have so much hope for the future which really touched me while i was worried.also in alot of things i felt comforted seeing i wasnt alone sooo.
    im going to shut up now


    3 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    "and i fell in love with the souls that strung my" o cant even express my love for this line.
    this whole piece is just the most beautiful thing ever.and its just so inspirational in a way.your writing is just such an enormous writing inspiration to me.i cant even explain it.also even if youre moving on and everything,a piece of you and your writing is engraved into wtw.youre sort of a legend.and in case you decide to leave and i dont get to your goodbye pieces in time,i also want to let you know.that your work,and everything about it has been such a guide for me.and i will never forget,because reading it,is what sparked my pure love for poetry.i wish i could explain to you what your work means to me,its had such an impact on my writing and how i aspire to write in the future.not that i want to copy or duplicate your style,but just inspiring and trying to make my own.its such an art,with raw emotions and uggghh.thank you.i hope to be a poet,or proet as you some day.thank you.
    also i hope things work out regarding your message box


    3 months ago
  • ek503

    this is gorgeously raw and I love it with my entire heart. cheers to what the future will bring :) to me you will always be a supportive, talented, hardworking queen <3


    3 months ago
  • Landofstories

    And also might I add your pieces never fail to make me feel something which personally I think is the greatest achievement for an author!!


    3 months ago
  • Landofstories

    girl, you'll always be a queen here!!! And honestly, from your poems it's hard to believe that you'd ever be a nobody :) but i get what you mean, growing out of a reality you've created and just that daunting feeling of a future you know is different - at least that's how I relate. but this piece is magnificent and also I feel like I get a melancholy vibe overall? just the way you craft words together - i can only hope to achieve that level. any advice for a newbie who's still a newbie but also not lol? I completely agree with Lata btw!!! And also good luck with that guy! :)


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Replying: no, I understand what you mean :) my comment was kinda just me... idk interpreting it weirdly... im sorry for the confusion! I didn't mean to imply anything!
    Hope im good :) happy writing! <3


    3 months ago
  • Dmoral

    @Paisley Blue
    reply: i hope that isn't how i came across! i didn't mean it as "my word" per se, but more of, uhm, a phase i'm outgrowing? i don't quite know how to phrase it, but it's like that feeling when you know you have to move on soon--does that make sense? but i completely agree, the world cannot belong to one person!! sorry for the confusion!


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Still so amazing <3 I love your work and your poems and your imagery and your word choice ;) its all so good. And I understand this feeling of missing out on what you thought was yours—but this world cannot belong to one person, can it?
    Happy writing, dear! <3


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "and i fell in love with the souls that strung my
    proems into jewelry." GOSH this is gorgeous. And I stan the footnotes and minor oversharing in the message board. I hope things work out between you and that guy. *shrugs*


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Awww thank you so much for your comment!!


    3 months ago
  • Lata.B

    I just need to say that everything you write that i have read has never failed to impress me...I love this!


    3 months ago