rat in a hat

United States

i'm pretentious and annoying but i think that's okay, i own two lava lamps. i love spider-man, ABBA, anything muppet-related, bill and ted, and john everett millais' rendition of ophelia. i hate sitcom laugh tracks.

chaotic good

Message from Writer

love your friends and be as stupid as you can be <2

streaks of pink on a sapphire and gold night (how long has it been since i saw life in color?)

August 31, 2020



i’m in love with something and i can’t name what it is

after six years, i found you again
i hadn’t been searching, but i had heard rumors and i was wondering
once upon a time we knew each other in a way few others did
because you lost someone you loved and i stepped in
and no matter how hard you pushed,
no matter how many times you stretched me to my limit to see if i would leave
i stuck by you
of course i stuck by you.

so after six years, at a movie theater in a town i’ve always loved,
after catching a glimpse and falling down a rabbit hole of infatuation
after catching your eyes in better light, nearly an hour later, (i’d thought about you for the whole time. i didn’t know it was you, but you held my mind captive even still) and realizing i knew them well
after your smile when you realized you knew mine too
brighter and wider in diameter than the sun itself
(and i don’t think anyone’s smiled that brightly when they saw me. i didn’t think it was possible before you)
after a hug that was all too tight and all too short and you told me you’d loved me.
i said, “i was a weird kid when you knew me.”
you said, ”yeah, but that’s why i loved you”
maybe i’m paraphrasing
my brain left my body when i heard the word love
and i can’t think of my hands and feet under those warm, dimming lights without everything going blurry

i saw you twice on a friday 
and i thought you wouldn’t want to see me again the second time
no, i thought you’d already seen me and looked away
but you left your friends and you hugged me and i ran to the bathroom to splash water on my eyes because I thought i had imagined it all

we’re not much older now
and i don’t think i’ll find you again
you hugged me and told me you’d loved me, and i haven’t seen you since
but then again, that’s what i thought before
and i’ve rarely been as happy as i was to be proved wrong

i’m in love with something, and i don’t think i’ll mind if it turns out to be you.


See History
  • August 31, 2020 - 2:31pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Stone of Jade

    oh man this is amazing!! I love this so so much! The way you tie in the first and last sentences *deep sigh of contentment*
    gorgeous writing!!!

    3 months ago
  • ronan howl naesheim

    as tender as a little potato scallop

    3 months ago
  • ek503

    "i’m in love with something and i can’t name what it is"
    "i’m in love with something, and i don’t think i’ll mind if it turns out to be you."
    ahh this is gorgeous!!

    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    <3 this is so sweet and delicate! I live the inagery and the pacing. Wonderful poem! <3

    3 months ago
  • kealoha

    the last line, just absolute perfection <3 <3 i love this so much

    3 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    hdhhdjfkkkk stop.this is a heart overlaod,beautiful

    3 months ago
  • dovetrees

    the LAST LINE oh my GOSH my poor poor heart, i really adored this!! amazing piece

    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood


    3 months ago