rainandsonder

United States

"the audience is only safe when the story isn't about them."

they/them - probably listening to sufjan stevens

Message from Writer

an important piece by outoftheblue- https://bit.ly/3dBxv5r

black lives matter & pride is over but the fight for lgbt+ rights is year round.

bio quote is from the magnus archives

deer sees me notice her

August 31, 2020

FREE WRITING

22

deer sees me notice her
in the woods and takes a step
back, her neck gentle like
a sculptor. some days i wish i had
sculptor's hands and with each stroke
of my thumb could smooth the world
into a better place for her. in town,
a few miles down the road, the sculptor
is kneading clay the way the baker
kneads bread, the way the painter 
kneads canvas with color, the way
i knead words onto paper. 
i watch kids at the beach sculpt sand
into castles, but they aren't castles,
of course, in the same way paints 
aren't a landscape and clouds aren't hearts,
but become so when we see it. 
perhaps that is the most remarkable 
thing about humans- our ability to make,
even just by seeing. deer bolts to her
fawn and i wonder if she knows
we are creating a world just
by being alive. 
i'm pretty much constantly in awe of how connected everything in the world, including animals, is. when you get to know an animal, you start to build a certain language with them. of course dogs can't speak, but when my dog rolls one of his toys towards me and whines to let me know he wants to play, or stands by my bed until i lift up the covers so he can get under them, or starts whining and wagging his tail and trying to get between them when anyone in my family starts hugging because he wants to be part of the hug, isn't that a kind of talking? i'm rambling but yeah even making eye contact with animals and knowing that you're perceiving each other is kind of magical, so that's where this poem came from!

Print

See History
  • August 31, 2020 - 5:06pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

14 Comments
  • buddingauthor

    This is warmed my heart!!


    about 1 month ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    oh wow man this is great, i love it. i love the imagery and the idea of a sculptor. also, replying: dude me too!! then i found it again and i was like "i need to save it this time" and so i did, then shared it with yall. youre welcome!


    about 2 months ago
  • Huba Huba

    A lovely piece.


    2 months ago
  • CreativeAngel

    YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD


    2 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Ahhhh! I love this! I have a puppy and I’m learning to understand him, so I totally agree! This piece is magical!


    2 months ago
  • avoiding the big bang

    for a work of yours this poem is unusually obvious, but sometimes obviousness is just what is needed. my one piece of advice: i notice you often use the word "kids" in your works, a term i think is ill-fitting for this more elegant verse. i recommend "children" or some alternative.


    2 months ago
  • Wicked!

    "and i wonder if she knows / we are creating a world just / by being alive."
    Oh man this is so beautiful asdfghjk


    2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    hhh this is so soft and beautiful and? the way it so gently thinks about how things are interconnected and how humans really just. try to grasp that the best way they can in art. also your footnotes are like HDFJBSKBF the mortifying ordeal of being known


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    so sweet <3 I love this!


    2 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "perhaps that is the most remarkable
    thing about humans- our ability to make,
    even just by seeing. deer bolts to her
    fawn and i wonder if she knows
    we are creating a world just
    by being alive. " gahhh im reading this while it's raining outside pretty heavily and ahh the flow of this poem is just so beautiful! love the idea behind the interconnected- ness
    of everything in nature. also possibly the cutest footnotes i've ever read.


    2 months ago
  • dovetrees

    reply: thank you so much! it's no problem :)


    2 months ago
  • erin!

    ahh i so love this because i always see deer in my backyard! "perhaps that is the most remarkable/thing about humans- our ability to make, /even just by seeing"

    i was just reading a book about how humans are so unique because of our ability to visualize systems and draw comparisons between situations. this piece reminded me of that! lovely


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh this is so wonderful ack I love it


    2 months ago
  • dovetrees

    'the sculptor
    is kneading clay the way the baker
    kneads bread, the way the painter
    kneads canvas with color, the way
    i knead words onto paper.'..... INCREDIBLE!! definitely my favourite line!! it's just so perfect, i -- asdflkjlks. everything about this is wonderful, from the message to the actual writing itself - and the footnotes! how sweet :,) dogs are so precious -- there's a new video on yt, something like 'a fox's connection to a human after being rescued' and it's the SWEETEST thing! six minutes, if you want to see it haha <3


    2 months ago