waxingcrescents

Canada

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle." - Lewis Carroll

oh, to live with friends in a renovated french castle with a labyrinth

i write mediocre poetry about love and other lies

she/her

Message to Readers

Let me know if you have any suggestions on how I can improve.

synesthesia flutters

October 11, 2020

FREE WRITING

21

listening for the sweet dewdrops
that are her undoing
a colour spectrum wavering
before her eyes
with only the lilt of the lusty saxophone
as she stands behind the bar
a lonely cigarette hanging from her lip, and
the shapes dotting the carpet taste like freedom
two more hours before
the end of her shift, and
she will drink the faded light
that washes her sheets yellow through her window slats
and the light will taste
like the colours the saxophone emits
a dark burgundy
the slip of lips against her collarbone
punctuated with the strike of silver
like liquid mercury
and she will sleep under the scattered light
bathed in its rosemary glow
and wait for the shapes of tomorrow to
etch themselves into her soul
 
Lowercase intentional! I wrote this in one go, so I don't know whether it's any good. Synesthesia, if you don't know, is a rare condition where some senses trigger others (e.g. people with synesthesia can often hear colours or taste shapes.) I don't know too much about it, so if I got anything wrong, please let me know! Thank you.

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  • October 11, 2020 - 11:33am (Now Viewing)

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12 Comments
  • madeline3.14159

    This is amazing!! The imagery is so powerful!


    3 months ago
  • Lights.B (#holidayvibes)

    The emotion here is so perfect! Absolutely loved this piece!


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    ahh this is gorgeous! "she will drink the faded light/that washes her sheets yellow through her window slats/and the light will taste/like the colours the saxophone emits" the sensory details here are just so well-written! this reminds me of a lot of my memories in a way.


    3 months ago
  • EliathRose

    Woah, this is soooo cool.


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wonderful piece! I've read quite a bit about synesthesia and as far as I can tell, it sounds right (but also don't listen to me because I'm usually wrong lol)! I love the imagery and emotion here! <3


    3 months ago
  • erin!

    replying: thank you so much, your comment made my day <3


    3 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: a fan??? i’m so flattered. i suppose you could say i’m a fan of you as well, ha. and yes! i have really strong...memory + smell/color associations? hm.


    3 months ago
  • dovetrees

    reply: ahh thank you so much!! you deserve all the kindness because you are incredible, and you're such a lovely person as well! <3 much love and best wishes to you :,)


    3 months ago
  • errormessage404

    Woah this is incredible, so immersive! "the slip of lips against her collarbone/punctuated with the strike of silver/like liquid mercury" This line took my breath away! The "striking" of the silver felt as if I have been punched in the gut by the words. I could picture this poem so well, every line had beautiful imagery.


    3 months ago
  • Eblinn

    "and the light will taste
    like the colours the saxophone emits
    a dark burgundy"
    this is beautiful!! this poem submerged me in all the senses in such a gorgeous way.
    "the shapes dotting the carpet taste like freedom"
    seriously, this is incredible imagery. <3


    3 months ago
  • dovetrees

    again!!! gorgeous!! i adore this so much, your imagery is on another level that i really do aspire to reach! i love everything about this,
    "bathed in its rosemary glow
    and wait for the shapes of tomorrow to
    etch themselves into her soul," !!!! beautiful, yet mysterious, yet insanely descriptive? absolutely incredible :)


    3 months ago
  • sunny.v

    haha I have synesthesia in some forms so this was cool to read! “ the slip of lips against her collarbone /punctuated with the strike of silver /like liquid mercury “ wow, your sensory detail is? it’s like, subtle, right, but it’s so...there. there’s almost nuance in the way you navigate through the sentences and carefully chip away at visuals/imagery. your diction is also so lovely and rich as ever: burgundy, rosemary, mercury. stunning work, and really compelling. also, finally. some good food around here.


    3 months ago