chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

typos galore. i suck at rhyming. it's the night before. my conscience is trying.

thanks y'all :)

it is the night before

August 27, 2020

FREE WRITING

17

it is the night before / 
you turn off the lamp closest to you and 
nibble on your thickest stray hairs until
your lips look speckled with several
sharp keratin lengths
you lick them off and
taste blood / 
numbing your foot by squeezing the ankle
because if there is burn to stay still then there is 
safety in the hallways dark 
you get up and get out / 
the only thing binding
you to this world is the string of 
saliva from your bottom lip to the 
bathroom sink / 
your scent sticks
the tap water drips
you bite a canker sore and 
condemn it like a foreign name / 

it is the night before / 
but it does not feel like a revolution's cusp  
it feels like standing on a sunset
horizon slowly sharpening, digging into the soft pads of your 
toes and splitting them red
four ways to one / 
it feels like grabbing the air at night 
spine arched into the suffocating sheets 
pretending like you've strangled a primary school ghost
a sickly thing that has no right to haunt you
let it go 
you don't let it go you
squeeze / 
nothing has sunk in yet
the conscience writhes in disuse
tells me to go to bed now 
go to bed now 
why? 
there is so much to be done 
there are battles to be won 
no
because it is the night before 








 
it's getting harder and harder to write, and honestly, i hate how my writing has progressed. trying to return to imagery now. 

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  • August 27, 2020 - 7:05pm (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • Dmoral

    (and with that, i believe i'm caught up with your writing-- yay !)
    xoxo


    2 months ago
  • Dmoral

    "the only thing binding / you to this world is the string of / saliva from your bottom lip to the / bathroom sink / "
    i have mixed feelings about these lines: at first, i was like "ooo this is gonna be good, what's stringin-omg, saliva???" and then i was like "okay, that's actually kinda cool figurative language and imagery, ngl" and now i just don't know what to think. it definitely made me do a double take, but i really do like it. brilliant!

    "condemn it like a foreign name /"
    favorite line even if i can't probably comprehend and comment on it.

    "a sickly thing that has no right to haunt you" & "the conscience writhes in disuse"
    the personification here mixing with your emotions plus metaphor with a bit of imagery----so so so good! the first line gave me goosebumps, the second was a muse, both were brilliantly written and just made my brain turn numb from thinking about them for far too long. if i didn't lose so much brain cells from school this past week, i'd definitely analyze these two lines more, 'cause i'm obsessed

    "horizon slowly sharpening,"
    your imagery was straight forward, yet amazing, i loved it!!


    2 months ago
  • inanutshell

    i always love your imagery, and in this case especially "you turn off the lamp closest to you and/nibble on your thickest stray hairs until/your lips look speckled with several/sharp keratin lengths/you lick them off and/taste blood" so subtle yet so telling of the emotions here. and "the conscience writhes in disuse" holy shit i really love that.

    and re: hating your writing, i'm so sorry, i know how much of a shitty feeling that can be & i hope you can find joy in its progress soon. above all, i hope you can find comfort and happiness in it <3


    2 months ago
  • ek503

    woww. i love this so so much. every line is beautiful in its own right and when they all come together, they're stunning <3


    2 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    sorry that was such a long comment i'm just really feeling this poem rn and i hope you find what makes you feel happy abt your writing soon!


    2 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    "it feels like grabbing the air at night/spine arched into the suffocating sheets/pretending like you've strangled a primary school ghost" "the conscience writhes in disuse" "you bite a canker sore and/condemn it like a foreign name" i'm so frustrated that i don't have the right words to type out my feelings on your writing. this piece particularly really speaks to me, since i just started school last week and it feels so strange and wrong and the school year beginning is always a weird time for me even without a global pandemic, and this poem just really touched that? the way you write is like i'm opening doors in a twisted nightmare hallway in my consciousness. and i hope that doesn't sound weird because i mean it in a really good way, your writing always has this darker tone that i really love and it takes these unspoken feelings and transforms them into something intense and poetic. i'm sorry that you're not liking how your writing is progressing, just know that i'm here if you ever want to talk about anything, and even if you're struggling with it i think this is really fantastic work.


    2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    u do NOT suck at rhyming and ur writing is lovely and i can't get enough of it <3


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow, this is really good! I love the imagery of walking down the hallway and leaning over the bathroom sink. Your writing is stunning--and like people before me have said, sometimes it can help to take a break and/or read through your old writing to see what you like. Sometimes all it is is a lack of inspiration. But I totally get it. Best of luck, dear <3


    2 months ago
  • PouringOutTheSun

    hating how ur writing has progressed is a fairly common feeling, i think, but it doesn’t have to be the end. like other people have said, take a break if u need to. it really can make a world of difference.

    on another note, i really adore this piece.
    lines like “spine arched into the suffocating sheets,
    pretending like you’ve strangled a primary school ghost,” are just so pretty.
    hope u don’t hate/are able to undo the progression u really don’t abide by, soon.


    2 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    oh man, I'm so sorry you feel that way about your writing and I hope the next decision you make brings you happiness <3
    (take a break if you need to :)


    2 months ago
  • abi_foster

    wow wow wow. I loved this so much. I felt completely drawn into your writing.
    'it is the night before /
    but it does not feel like a revolution's cusp
    it feels like standing on a sunset
    horizon slowly sharpening, digging into the soft pads of your
    toes and splitting them red'
    this is some stunning writing!


    2 months ago