Peer Review by rainydayz (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

My Little Box

By: BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)


My glass Box had finally arrived. My breath fogged, smugging the clear and perfect surface. My little, little box. I ran my fingers over it's rectangular exterior. I breathed in the sent of crisp, cold glass. It was exactly as they had described. I grasped my dog eared handbook filled with highlights and post it notes. It was time to begin the steps to confirm my rebel spirit. But I had to think about my fatal decision. I circled it, I paced, I chatted to it. It sat still and cold on my brightly coloured carpet.

My little box, would help me fit in with my former friends. Sophisticated, frosted and cool. I could finally be a part of the world that had for so long left me an outcast. I would finally understand the call of social media. Why I have to be hypnotized by the black and lifeless screen lulling my mind to death by swiping in a black room. They are controlled, their puppet strings linking back to the screen limiting their lives. Their heads are always down and gray, eyes hollow and empty.

My friends tell me that I just don't understand. I could never get the inside jokes, the piercing nicknames, the defining phrases. I just didn't fit under their labels. They told me I will always be different. That I could never be perfect. Perfect like them.

It lay still in my living room. I had decided. All I wanted was to become a part of the puzzle. I opened the shining lid. I stepped into my little box. I felt it happening. I felt my little box mold and change. Seeping into my skin it went. Sliding, plunging, ripping. I gave it what it desired. The lethal blow was delivered. My uniqueness was shattered and gone. I felt my carpet underneath me. Cradling my suddenly exhausted body. My little box had disappeared. It's job completed. Everything was grey.

I was never original anymore. I never sung and danced around my room. I no longer questioned the world. It is what it is. Nothing I can do. I confirmed to the cliques. I felt the endless headaches. I let the screen crush my spirit. Only my shell remains. The red of my carpet mourned me donning a black cloak. I am now perfect. Perfect like them.

Peer Review

the whole piece moved me a lot because i feel like this character sometimes. i feel like i would be better if i changed to fit society’s mold, but it help me realize that being different is what makes you you.

Not much i can think of for this one. i think this piece was extremely thorough and thought out

Reviewer Comments

i’m in love with this passage so much! you are extremely talented and i can’t wait to read your next piece.