Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Uh I guess help me improve my narrative writing skillz
I really like the use of figurative language. You've employed it really well.
If the writer continued with this, it would be interesting to find out more about the protagonist's personality.
Hello. I decided to review your work because you've been so helpful to me and I want to thank you for it. I really like your piece of writing here! But I do think you need to be careful about switching tenses. This is written mainly in the present tenses but you did switch to past. However this was only a few times and sometimes it's alright to switch tenses but I'd be careful when you can and when you shouldn't. But this is really promising!