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I am
a Child of God
a writer
a reader
a dancer
a volleyball player
a runner
a daughter
a wizard
a demigod
a tribute
I am
"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one remembers to turn on the light."
Albus Dumbledore

Message to Readers

Hey y'all! Fel inspired! I hope you all enjoy!

Growing Happy

August 22, 2020


Today wasn't a good day. 
To be honest, it hasn't been a very good week.
Or month.
Make that a few months.
I know I'm not the only one. 
But as I tell my searching mind:
It's okay. 
It's okay because I grew.
It's okay because today I realized something.
Happiness isn't something I get from a store.
It's not something that I can just come across on the street.
I can't just pick it up, claim it, and keep it forever.
Underneath happiness is growth.
To be happy, I can't continue to compare myself to others.
I can't love what the world is and then expect myself to fit those standards.
Everyone keeps saying to love yourself...
But honestly,
It's so hard to love this reflection when all I see is the world in the mirror.
To be happy, I can't keep wanting something else.
I have to learn to be okay right where I am.
The smallest moments are the important ones.
And if that means sitting here in my bed and just breathing...
Well, that's okay.
To be happy, I can't keep trying to fit people in my life that don't make me happy.
They can say things, but it's my choice whether or not to listen. 
And right now, I'm choosing not to.
And you know what?
I'm done obsessing about whether or not I'm good enough
whether or not my struggles matter
whether or not I'm always doing the right thing
whether or not I'm actually trying to be happy
Because I am good enough
And life is truly a constant struggle
So it does matter 
And I'm not perfect so the right thing is sometimes the wrong thing
And sometimes
Trying so hard doesn't get you happiness
So yes
I'm trying
Still trying
And that's okay
But no matter what
I'm not giving up on myself 
So I'm gonna keep trying
And hopefully
I'll grow.



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1 Comment
  • Deleted User

    Yeah! So glad to hear you say this. I hope you're doing well, and I hope you do find growth. How could you not with an attitude like that? Best wishes.

    about 1 year ago