all the things i dream of--part 3

note: please read all the things i dream of parts 1 and 2 before you read this one. ultimately, the poems (all part of a collection) will make far more sense if read in the correct order.

tw: mentions of blood, references events in yesterday's poem (part 2) that are exceedingly violent

today's poem, titled "three days", focuses on the shame and the guilt that waits for me, how all paths lead back to these old grudges and crimes i've committed, how i am still no victim. these hands are bloody and stained and now the smell of iron is starting to linger in my nose.

old forgotten sorrows and regrets
pile themselves onto my head
a thousand crimes stacked so high
they reach beyond the clouds
into the emptiness that lies beyond
tonight the stars don’t shine
and neither does the sun
the whole world mourns its king
he’s dead and the scarlet
stain on my hands is intoxicating
with the smell of iron rising from
the edges of my fingertips
do i feel the guilt starting to claw
at the fraying borders of my soul?
not yet not yet and i never want it
but it will come i know it will come
as the sun starts to rise over the
horizon and sunday settles itself
into my bones i have killed the
king and i feel no regret not yet
but soon soon soon soon
the sun will rise and all these
sick crimes will be illuminated