Hanbanhandstand

United States

Hi, my name is Hannah and I love to write and read. I am also a HUGE fan of Legolas Greenleaf. Oh yeah!
I am a thirteen year old christian and am the younger sister of Lydia Ledy who is also a writer on write the world.

Message to Readers

I'd be happy to receive feedback!

Jerry the fly

September 12, 2020

FREE WRITING

9
There once was a Jerry,
and he was a fly.
This is the story
of how he died.

The day of his passing,
no fly could have guessed.
He sat at home fastening
his suit freshly pressed.

Then came a knock,
upon his front door.
Jerry pulled on his sock
and swept crumbs from the floor.

He swung the door open
to greet his fair lady.
The dress she had chosen
was blue, puffed and lacy.

"I assume you're ready."
The lady fly said.
"Of course Rossetti."
And away they sped.

Together they flew
through the morning air.
 The sky a pale blue
so bright and so fair.

Til' Jerry finally spotted
their usual rest,
beside the flowers potted
and below the crows nest.

A wooden picnic table
piled high with snacks,
where Jerry felt quite stable
and could surely relax.

Once they were situated,
and could enjoy their feast,
they ate the food that lay plated
and left not the least.

 Then, to Jerry's great horror
A beast came upon him.
The beast's hand clutched a swatter.
So long and so thin.

The swatter descended
And then came the blood.
Jerry's life was ended,
With one single thud.





 
It ends sort of quickly, but writing about flies was really starting to bore me...
To me, the most satisfying part was when he dies though. flies are so annoying.
 

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  • September 12, 2020 - 2:41pm (Now Viewing)

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8 Comments
  • Kit-Kat Sully

    YES! I LOVE Legolass and am a HUGE LOTR fan! Also, This is an amazing poem! I LOVE the rhymes! :) <3


    about 1 hour ago
  • journal.scribbles

    The rhythm in this poem is great! It flows really well which is hard to do in rhyming poems. Nice job!

    Welcome to WtW!!! I noticed that you've been replying to some comments on this piece. That's totally fine, but I just wanted to let you know that people don't get notified when you do that. Most of us just go to a recent piece from that person and thank them there. For example:
    Replying: Thank you so much for the review!
    Also tell your sister I said hi and thanks for the recent likes and comments! They mean a lot to me. :)


    6 days ago
  • Coolgirl2020

    XD LOVE THIS! Aw, I hate flies, too, but you made me actually feel bad for Jerry.


    6 days ago
  • birthdaycandles

    I LOVED this! I read the title and already knew I would love it, “Gerry” (pronounced the same as Jerry) is my dog’s middle name -I don’t know if that’s weird giving your dog a middle name but oh well lol! So when I saw the name I instantly clicked in to read this! I love the way the rhyme flows, it almost sounds like you could sing it as a little song, like a song that tells a story kind of like Alec Benjamin’s songs?
    The opening reminds me of the opening of the movie “Tangled” when Flynn at the start says “this is the story of how I died..” which I thought was hilarious! I love how you’ve used a similar effect to open this piece! Jerry’s end was tragic, but I think this piece plays such a fantastic tribute!! Your footnote too had me in stitches laughing, when you said “flies are so annoying” - completely agree lol
    Also, I’ve never really seen you on the site before- if you’re new, welcome to write the world!! I hope you love it here as much as I do! My time is almost up here on WtW, I have a little less than a year here left, but until then I can’t wait to keep reading your works! Also, thank you for your lovely comments on my pieces, they made me smile until my face hurt! :)

    -birthdaycandles


    7 days ago
  • Sanjana Sunilkumar

    Short and sweet! I love it!


    14 days ago
  • amazing grace

    This is so good!!! I have so many flies in my house and they drive me crazy.


    16 days ago
  • madeline3.14159

    I love it!!!!!


    17 days ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    This made me laugh!! I love the rythme
    Replying: thank you so much for the comments :)


    17 days ago