United States

as in Presbyterian Church in America
Ambivert or something
Band nerd + Drum Major
Planet Earth nerd
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Joined September 10, 2019

Message to Readers

Is it my fault he died? Yes. Yes, it is.

all the things i dream of--part 2

August 21, 2020



note: before reading this piece, feel free to take a look at yesterday's poem (all the things i dream of--part 1) for a bit more understanding on where this poem comes from. this is, after all, a part 2, one in a series of seven.

(tw: references blood, death, murder...)

today's poem, titled "murder", focuses on the anger, the hatred, the murder of the one i should have loved but instead despised. this is my villainy, these are my regrets. this is the past i cannot leave behind, the things i cannot forget. i am no victim, i am the criminal.

hatred boils up and over
hatred for the one who said
“you will surely die”
who placed this burden of shame
upon my broken back
how dare he say what i must be
i am perfection
i am greatness
i am worthy worthy worthy
i know i am but the creation
but in my universe i am god
and he has no power over me
so this hatred spawns in the
atriums and the ventricles
the hidden dark places of my soul
a face wreathed in shadow
i unleash my hatred now
i hold the nails in my left hand
and the hammer in my right
raise my fist above my head
and release my curdled hatred
to the darkening sky
my voice is louder than the crowd’s
the ground quakes as the king
dies but i pay it no mind
i rule this universe now
i dip my fingers in his blood
crimson streams flowing
down the creases of my palms
and flaunt it in front of his face


See History
  • August 21, 2020 - 8:03am (Now Viewing)

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  • RemovedUser1

    Wow, this is amazing. And packed with emotion. I love it so much.

    6 months ago
  • doodleninja

    okay, I'm already in love with this series XD
    I've always loved that horrific imagery of us holding the nails to the cross in our hands, we're the ones who killed Him, because we did, and you portray that so wonderfully terribly in here and...it's superb.

    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Your poem is so emotional and heartbreaking. Really, I don't know what to say. Even though the poem is written with strength and anger, I feel like it leaves thoughts of regret and sorrow. Something broken.
    Or maybe I'm just reading too far into it :)
    Your writing is amazing, like always!

    7 months ago