all the things i dream of--part 1

all the things i dream of is a poetry collection i've been working on recently, which i will release to wtw poem by poem. each poem focuses on a distinct era in my life, representing the pieces of a history i have tried to pick up and glue together in a reasonable fashion. today poem, titled "treason" focuses on the beginning of my existence, the first choices i made, the person i became.

i’ve left behind my right mind
to dance upon my throne of sand
to eat the fruit of the tree
juice dribbling lazily down my chin
knowledge of good and evil now
but blind eyes glimmering opaque
a heart of stone that never beats
dead skin flaking into dust
to dust i will return
no hope no hope no hope
chains slinking around my ankles
like metallic serpents
ever seen a snake dress in white?
his disguise creeps into the heart
and slithers its way into the soul
evil appears as light not dark
and my blood rolls through my
twisted veins as black not red
no hope no hope no hope
but i don’t want hope
i want freedom to rule myself
to be like God
knowledge knowledge knowledge
but no hope no hope no hope
i am no victim i am the criminal
there’s little love left for me
i sit in the darkness and wait to die