chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

i feel like i'm out of practice when it comes to writing informative pieces. tbh, i usually don't in fear of getting smth wrong, and that was especially prevalent throughout this piece. see any kind of wrong information, and please do inform me thoroughly on it so that it is easier to edit later. if i disagree with your statement, i'll reply back to you saying it.

enjoy? hope this helped someone? i don't usually write this kind of stuff, so i'll take it.

bisexuality: the basics

August 25, 2020

FREE WRITING

29
i don't usually write pieces like this, but it's been digging at the back of my mind for awhile so i thought i might as well, even if i don't necessarily have the "right" to. keep the comments respectful, and please do tell me if i've said anything grievously wrong; i will immediately unpublish this piece and edit it if that is true.

if you have anything to say that could be potentially offensive, do not comment. i will not have anyone be invalidated in my comment section. please inform yourself before speaking. thank you. 

intro

nowadays, more and more people are exposed to the lgbtqia+ community from a young age. this naturally leads to questioning oneself and one's sexuality. in a heteronormative society, bisexuality is usually where a lot of teenagers start, especially for ones that have already experienced some sort of attraction to males/females depending. 

definition

bisexuality is commonly defined as "experiencing attraction to two or more genders". additionally, the historic importance of this term has developed "bisexuality" to a sort of umbrella term to include pansexuality, omnisexuality, and polysexuality (m-spec). there's a very nice video by luxander that explains the definitions of all of these labels. 

there is also a label that lies on the a-spec called biromantic, which is "experiencing romantic attraction towards two or more genders". if you do not know the difference between romantic and sexual attraction, please check out this article. in short terms, romantic attraction is "i want to have a relationship with you", and sexual attraction is "i want to go down on you". none are partial to the other, and you might want to bed someone, but you might not want to date them. 

"equal attraction" 

being bisexual does not necessarily mean you experience "equal attraction" for every gender. in fact, most bisexuals tend to lean towards being either "gay" or "straight", as shown by the kinsey scale. lgbtqia+ has taught us that many things are in a spectrum, and bisexuality is one of those things. for example, as a bisexual, you may experience more attraction to women and genderqueer people while still experiencing occasional attraction to men. 

to add onto that, if you are bisexual and in a heterosexual relationship, you still belong in the lqbtqia+ community. 

bisexuality is fluid. sometimes, you might be "more gay". sometimes, you might be "more straight". and sometimes, you'll be 50/50. depending on where you are in your life, it will change. no matter much you tend to gravitate towards one side, you are still lqbtqia+.

bisexuality vs pansexuality

i will go more into pansexuality and the biphobia allegations in my biphobia piece (i promise it will be nothing to be angry about), but for now, i'll try to explain the distinctions between the two the best i can. 

historically, all the definitions applied to the modern pansexuality (below) were also applied to bisexuality within the bi community. however, it was misconstrued by those not within the community, hence the label "pansexuality" was born. nowadays, pansexuality falls under the "bisexual umbrella" and exists as an independent sexuality. i think the differences between the non-monosexual sexualities is summed up very well by this meme. (also in luxander's youtube video, linked above and below.)

while bisexuality is defined as "experiencing attraction to two or more genders", pansexuality is frequently defined as "experiencing attraction to all genders, or being to attracted to everyone regardless of gender". many people are more comfortable with the pansexual label due to the very important differences between the two present definitions. pansexuality is not "spicy bi". pansexuality is not "confused". pansexuals (as, the people as a whole) are not transphobic or biphobic (though i'll address that somewhere else). pansexuality is completely valid.  

whether you choose to identify as bi or pan is very subjective, and you are valid either way. both exist and are perfectly fine, so do not push the other out of a supposedly inclusive community. 

conclusion

in an age of growing lgbtqia+ awareness, more and more youths are questioning their own sexuality, often starting with bisexuality. going into the bisexuality, there are many misconceptions and misunderstandings that you may have before fully understanding it. i hope this article helped you in some way, and again, if i've made any offensive errors, i will correct them immediately. 

there will be no offensive or invalidating comments below. if there is one, i will address you personally, explain anything that needs to be explained, and then ask you to remove your comment from the comment section. if that comment is not removed within three hours, i will flag it. 

additionally, if you'd like to ask questions, i'll reply back on one of your pieces. 

you are valid. you are valid, no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are absolutely valid. 



 

Print

See History
  • August 25, 2020 - 2:29am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

14 Comments
  • waxingcrescents

    Thank you so much for this! I hope nobody left anything offensive in the comments. We definitely need to see more pieces like this, so thank you. I love to see informative pieces like this. Thank you for linking those articles and videos. It warms my heart that so many people commenting felt validated and/or comforted by your piece.


    3 months ago
  • Pravartika Wankhede

    preach it sista! maybe it's because we are forced to be very sceptical and therefore question ourselves constantly, but writers as a group are very very very queer. every time i see something that ticks my gaydar off I'm unhealthily pleased. when i joined WtW i'd play a game where I would check out the first 20 pieces on the feed and try to see which pieces breathed of queer-ness. just *throws rainbows and fairy dust around. dude the no. of stupid assumptions abt us is BEAUTIFUL. e.g. the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for AlLiEs *snorts


    3 months ago
  • fatpanda

    i am pansexual, and only recently i saw this post going around instagram which claimed that pansexuality is biphobic, but somehow i've never really identified with the "bi" label, you know? i thought pansexuality was attraction regardless of gender, and honestly, for a while i felt really confused on this subject. but thank for this piece! it was really affirming :))


    3 months ago
  • EliathRose

    This was lovely! Sexuality is such a complicated thing, and I feel that this definitely helped clear some things up for those who needed it. And thank you so much for mentioning the whole percentage/spectrum thing. I feel like there is something of a stereotype, especially when it comes to bi women, that they are all way more attracted to women than to men. Or at least it used to be more of a thing (I think it’s dying out now, or at least I hope so). That really isn’t the case, and it frustrated me, a bisexual female who was mainly attracted to men. Everyone is valid no matter what their attraction ratio is!!!


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    *homophobes lol i’m not against homophones


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    and thank you for acknowledging that pansexuality and bisexuality can co-exist! i find it so exhausting when people attack one or the other or try to push the communities apart. it’s like, bro, there are actual homophones out there and laws designed to make it harder for us to adopt kids or hold jobs and people are still rampantly homophobic and use “gay” as an insult across the country and don’t even believe that people can be attracted to more than one gender and these are things that affect everyone in both communities, and we’re concerned about... a minor label difference...?


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    i’m bisexual and i found this all to be accurate and informative to people that may not know about bisexuality, nice work! i’d also like to add to people that may be questioning that even tho a lot of bisexual people might consider ourselves more gay or more straight, not everyone does, and bisexuality isn’t just “half gay half straight”; it’s a whole identity within itself. you don’t need to worry about the nuances and percentages of how attracted you are to men or to women or nonbinary people; as long as you’re attracted in any way to multiple genders, you can consider yourself bisexual, and personally i find that trying to figure if i’m “more gay or straight” is unnecessary and tiring. you can just be bisexual.
    great post chrys, sorry for the long comment lol!


    3 months ago
  • books4life

    thank you! :)


    3 months ago
  • mia_:)

    thank you so much for this, chrys! i'm currently questioning, so this was really helpful! <3


    3 months ago
  • dovetrees

    this is written amazingly! thank you for informing us and posting this!


    3 months ago
  • ava09

    thank you so much for posting this. i’m currently questioning so this helps so much and it’s nice to see pieces like this out there. <3


    3 months ago
  • sunny.v

    if i see anyone being a douche in chrys' comment section im flooring it onto the flag button and throwing hands. no lgbtphobes in our community.


    3 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    ahhh lovee how well-written and informative this is!!
    ty for writing :)


    3 months ago
  • inanutshell

    ah yes! i've been trying to get more comfortable identifying myself as bi recently, as for years it's been a point of conflict for me, especially considering i didn't quite understand the distinction between bisexuality & pansexuality. i think this piece sums that distinction up quite well and shows the importance of both orientations, as people tend to brush off either as made up or "attention seeking" (ew). also glad you mentioned the kinsey scale, it was something i learned in class that scientifically explains the wide spectrum of sexual orientations that not many people actually know of! turns out bisexuality is more common than we think & it has really helped me come to terms with my own.

    also, replying to your comment: thank you so much for the kind comments. it's tough to keep up w/ wtw pieces bc of how the dashboard works tbh & i'm a little behind as well, but i'm always grateful for your support no matter what <3


    3 months ago