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hold me and tell me everything will be alright

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est. 26.9.19

Message from Writer

1. 16. 21

I Wrote a Poem

August 17, 2020


    My mother read one of my poems today. It took her a few minutes to finish it and when she did, she was silent. She kept staring at the screen she held in her hand. 
    So I asked her, "You're still reading it?" 
    And she said to me, finally meeting my eyes, "No." That's when I knew something was off, by the way she took a deep breath and closed her eyes before looking back at me. "Honey, you write like those unhappy people." 
    She couldn't even say the word depressed. And all I did was stand there and look at her. My eyes felt heavy, as if tears threatened to fall, and I had to fight back the words that wanted to fall out. Because I almost said, "And what if I was?"
    But, like the coward I am, I said to her instead, "It's not like they chose to be unhappy." 
    And she looked back at the phone and only shrugged, "I know. Because people get like that when they come from broken families or their parents neglect them or..." and she proceeded to list off the reasons. 
    All I could do is listen to her, all while my thoughts were screaming. Because you don't need a reason to be depressed. Because even people who have everything can feel the same way. 
    She stopped to look at me and I thought for a single moment that she saw me differently. Not the daughter she has idealized me to be, but the daughter who writes because she doesn't know what to do with the aching in her chest. The daughter who writes because she doesn't know what else to do, because the voices in her head get too loud. The daughter who happens to feel a little broken inside. But just as soon as that realization hit her, she replaced it with a smile. And I knew then she was pretending that part of me wasn't there staring right back at her. 
    Instead, she said, "You always want to be out there." 
    And I looked at her. "Because that's what writers do." 
    But that's not true. I don't publish my works so that I can be out there. I publish my works in hope that my words will speak to someone who feels just like me. Trapped. Alone. Broken. I write hoping that they'll help someone heal. I write because that's the only way I know how to help. I write because someone out there in the world is feeling just like me, and if there's a chance that they'll come across my works and it moves them in such a momentous way, I'll take that chance. I'll take that chance a million times.
    So I left my mother there, realizing that she doesn't really know the daughter she raised. And I held my phone in my palm, thinking about the poem that I wrote. 
Parents. Sometimes it's like talking to a wall. 


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  • August 17, 2020 - 11:19pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Dmoral

    re: okay now for the actual reply. uuuuh, thank you for the unexpected (yet wonderful) thank you. i would love to send you one my own (i got lots to say, believe me) buuuuut finals is next week and between work and studying i really shouldn't be commenting rn. but hey, whatever!
    as for questions? i got loads for you! i lowkey think we can get away with it, if we don't link users or anything in our pieces. think code names....OMG CODE NAMES. it's official, i'm in the process of coming up with your code name so just wait.
    now for questions
    - what are 3 people in history you'd want to join you for dinner on a friday night at a restaurant of your choosing? ofc this will happen when quarantine is over and we've defeated COVID
    - do you think plants have thoughts?
    - how do "recharge" ?
    - favorite animal? (i'm a sucker for cheesy questions, sorry !)
    - favorite color?
    - when you have to leave WTW, what will you miss most?
    - 2 pieces of yours you're super proud of? (feel free to link ofc)
    - something from your heritage that you take pride in? (can be traditions, beliefs, anythign really)
    - 1 think you love about distance learning, 1 thing you hate
    - classics you cherish vs classics you'll never understand
    - any YA novels worth shouting out?

    feel free to drop some questions of your own ;)
    *Takes Off Jacket*

    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    replying: thank you for the kind comment on my piece :) it means a lot to me that you like it. And I'm glad you have found coping strategies. All my love and support and hugs! <3

    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Oh honey... im really sorry that your mom just can't understand — or refuses to. That is so, so hard. But even if she can't be the person to tell you, YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. You don't need a "reason" to be depressed and its not your fault. If I could give you a giant hug right now I would <3 writing is a great coping strategy and one that I use every day. Dont let your mom's lack of understanding get you down, okay? You are unique and valid and perfect the way you are, even if you are a depressed teenager that your mom doesn't quite know how to handle ;) I can't say it enough. Seriously. This piece is wonderful and the feelings are so raw and real <3 all my love and support and hugs <3

    6 months ago
  • Future Pseudonym

    Replying: Lmao I feel that, we love angst poetry
    (And legend has it that Future Pseudonym and Wisp are still laughing in emo to this day)

    6 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    Hugs, Mellon. I get it. A few definitions of happiness was my piece like that. But now It is one of my favorites. Sending 3000 hugs your way.

    6 months ago
  • Future Pseudonym

    Parent: You write like one of those unhappy people
    Me: *laughs in emo*

    6 months ago
  • dovetrees

    this is so raw and heartbreaking :( i can feel each of your emotions here and i just want to give you the biggest hug <3 i'm sorry that parents are like that, it's not good for anybody :( much love to you x
    reply: ahh thank you so so much! yes, of course! shoot me a message whenever :)

    6 months ago
  • Landofstories

    Replying: Thank you so so much, it means a lot coming from you! I was just in a place of passion so I wrote this, but I'm glad you liked it!

    Haha the footnote lol, so relatable lmao.

    7 months ago
  • beth r.

    I can totally relate to the footnote lol
    beautifully written and love the emotion

    7 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    I can't click the like button enough times. I don't really ever show my parents my more emotional poetry, but I can totally relate to the fact that it's hard for parents to understand that sadness doesn't need a reason.

    7 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    That's really strong, I totally understood what you want to convey everyone with your poems. Whenever my mother see my poems, she's always neutral, but I know that she's happy inside, because after reading it she always says you write good.
    Writing is all about pouring all your emotions onto the paper, so it's not bad to write like sad people. If you think that it's comforting you to write your emotions, instead of telling, then it's okay!
    Happy and free writing :)

    7 months ago