“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” -Madeline Miller, “The Song Of Achilles.”


Message to Readers

Read the foot note for context :)) Coming back to this, I realize how much of a mess it is but this is where it's staying xoxo

You’ve Dreamed of This Day for so Long, So Why Do You Choke on the Thought of it, Now?

August 17, 2020


“Did I do all these terrible things to you?” Rory asks, staring at the mess of a timeline laid out before her. It twists itself up too much. How could one singular boy have lived through all of this? 

And Damon’s still writing, hand all a blur and the catch of his eye gone wild. She thinks she spots a tear but she’s not entirely sure.

“Am I thinking it up? Am I allowing you to cry right now?”

He stops. He puts his pen down. He turns to her and he breathes in deep, lungs expanding out and in; normal human, not full god, normal god, not full human.

“Do I think up these things, these terrible things, because they have already happened to you or do I think them up and then they happen to you?”

“I can never tell,” Damon says, his tongue flicking pink. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for years.”

“What would you like it to be?”

“I think, that I really do like the idea of you thinking me into existence. But then I do not like the idea of you thinking my mam to death.”

He grabs Rory by the hands and squeezes them as if she means something. As if she’s important. “I love the idea of you having a hand in saving so many things but I hate the thought of you having thought up all my problems.”

Rory breathes out, a ballad in there somewhere, something about fate and how stone can be smashed. 

“So let’s pick and choose,” Damon continues. “Let’s say you thought of my mam dying because it had already happened and let’s say you thought of me all pretty-like because it’s what you wanted.”

“Okay,” she says, not quite smiling because the thought of him doesn’t allow for that just yet. “That sounds okay.”
Some context: Due to revisiting old video games that I used to adore, I’ve got a new novel idea. It’s about this girl called Aurora who’s too caught up in her own head daydreaming, about this guy, called Damon. And Damon doesn’t exist! She’s just a character she made up for daydreaming but then y’know plot twist: he sort of does and it’s *amazing* and *wonderful* and all those wistful adjectives but Aurora, in her dreams, she’s put him through so much. She’s made him save and lose so many things. And this is a struggle, because she wonders how he’s even managing to look her in the eye. 


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  • rainandsonder

    wow, that's honestly one of the best book ideas i've read in a while! i mean, that sounds like the kind of thing i'd read the summary of, buy, and then stay up until 2AM reading frantically until i finished it. and your writing style here is so captivating as always, "'Do I think up these things, these terrible things, because they have already happened to you or do I think them up and then they happen to you?'" that's so thought-provoking and i would absolutely love to read more of this!

    3 months ago
  • Maya'sTired

    I'm loving this premise!

    3 months ago
  • Lydia Ledy

    Yeah, this is amazing! Please write more!

    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    huh I really like this idea!!! Wow!!! I can't wait to read more!!!! <3

    3 months ago