Peer Review by wavewriter (United States)

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The Wave Of Panic

By: paigepearsonn

My heart was pounding against my ribcage, like a bird trying to escape it’s cage. Just looking at that light made my head spin and all the reasons to leave came flooding into my mind, as if my body just invited them in. I felt the panic grow and embed into my brain, but for some strange reason, there was a calmness to it. My panic would grow if I let these thoughts swirl like a vortex, control my movement, or i could stay, ground myself and breathe, letting the thoughts stay, but not letting them control me.

Peer Review

The first sentence. I loved the simile of a bird trying to escape it's cage describing the character's pounding heart.

"all the reasons to leave came flooding in..." This is great! You told us that the character is in some kind of social situation that they're panicking about without saying that directly. Great job!

No, you gave the perfect amount of information. Nicely done!

I absolutely adore great descriptions, which is why I loved reading your story. You had FANTASTIC descriptions and similes, I emphasized with your character from beginning to end. Keep writing, and I wish you the best luck in the competition!

Reviewer Comments

One note: I think a stronger title for your story might just be "Panic". All my other thoughts are highlighted! Again, you wrote an amazing story, you should be so proud of yourself. Please leave a comment if you have any questions! :)