she shows you a face that is supposedly your own || Pretty Little Thing pt. 1

 and you show her one side of your half-shaved head and she presses her lips,
or maybe she doesn't. maybe you're imagining the tone changing in her voice when she asks
"how do you fix your hair?" 
you pause, uh-um-well for a moment before pointing to the knot you've tied your hair into
[the knot that's led your best friends to affectionately call you 'manbun,'
which you refuse to admit you love with all your heart]
and say, "like this."

[she still thinks you want to go into aerospace.
you haven't wanted to go into aerospace since ninth grade.
you tell her 'digital animation' and her face tightens again.]

she hums and says "we'll have to figure out something before senior pictures"
and your heart less drops and more hits terminal velocity,
only because it's been falling since she brought up your hair.
she says the word "dress" while you're half-paying attention
[dreaming about how it must feel to be normal]
and you don't know if she means it as a noun or verb
[you're thinking noun and you feel your plastered smile crack, just a bit.]

you don't tell her that you've already talked with your mother and
you don't want her the two of you agreed someone else is taking your pictures
because if she makes you cross your legs
or prop your pretty chin in your pretty hand like a
Pretty         Little         Thing
you might just 
snap