Peer Review by madeleine (United States)

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Crumbling

By: t.shah


    She sat on the bathroom floor of the 7-11. Her mascara smudged, her hair still dripping from the rain, and her dirt-covered dress now in shreds.

    She prayed that the sound of her tears would not reach the other side of the stall door. She could already imagine the crowd gathering outside, all convened just to get a glimpse of her dishevelled state. She begged herself to regain composure.

    After all, how could she cry over something that was never hers to begin with?


Message to Readers

Omg, I'm a little scared to submit it to be honest But I look forward to reading all your feedback!


Peer Review

“The bathroom floor of the 7-11” along with the description after and I just knew this story was going to be good.


Maybe try adding a bit more context, I was kind of confused on exactly what happened and why she was there but I still liked the bit of mystery it had.


I’d like to know more about her disheveled state and why they’d want to see it plus things I mentioned in the previous question :)


It’s a great story and your word choice is beautiful, but with just a bit more context it’d be awesome!


Reviewer Comments

Keep up the great work :)