elliem

Canada

Apparently, I'm 17
Come to my feed for free hugs :)
Somebody run through castle ruins at midnight with me

Acting
Dancing
Singing
Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
Petrichor
Soft girl/Dark academia mix
Virgo
ENFJ

WtW pixie

She/her

Message to Readers

Yes, hello friends, I am back. I feel like I've been sort of inactive over the past few days, but I promise you, I'm here! I've been writing, I just haven't been posting it all. Let me know what you think of this. Have a wonderful day! :)

psychotherapy's a bitch when you like to bottle up

August 23, 2020

FREE WRITING

17

because you hid yourself away
from curious eyes,
breath shallow,
throat tightening,
and nothing could mollify
the fire licking your intestines

you appreciate it, you do
here in the waiting room
fluorescent lights that are
oh so good at blinding
lemon disinfectant
p e r m e a t e s
the air and you
can't breathe
and somehow
you like it

you kept things from them
you thought they wouldn't want to hear
dancing widdershins around your own feelings
because feelings are for the real ones
and fantasy is an escape

but here when your only task is to feel
your heart torn open with the
most precise scalpel
and digging around in there
they try to find why you feel so
l o s t
and present you with solutions
and you smile because they are trying to help you
they do not expostulate with you like the others
and you thank them for that

bottling emotions like water
swallowing them and they have
the most bitter aftertaste
enough to make you spit them up again
soon as you get here
because you wait for this place
and it's a bitch
it's such a bitch
and maybe that's why you're healing
I wrote this a while ago but I've been debating whether or not I should actually post it because I feel like it's not very good. Anyway, this sounds like I'm hating on psychotherapy, but as long as you have a therapist that suits you, it's actually really, really helpful. Not really sure why I wrote this piece? Anyway. Let me know what you think! :)

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  • August 23, 2020 - 8:32pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • spurtsofdarkness

    replying: uh hi, sorry i just saw your comment on my cleopatra piece (sorry i was away for a while), and thank you so, so much. means a lot, i poured my soul into that piece, and it just doesn't get enough reads. so yeah, glad you gave your time :)


    3 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "dancing widdershins around your own feelings
    because feelings are for the real ones
    and fantasy is an escape" gahh ellie, teach me your ways

    "bottling emotions like water
    swallowing them and they have
    the most bitter aftertaste
    enough to make you spit them up again" and the lil metaphors here are so beautifully woven in. also agree with mia about widdershins hehe


    3 months ago
  • sunny.v

    "bottling emotions like water /swallowing them and they have /the most bitter aftertaste " ack this line is so good? it combines all the acrid tones and all the repression of emotions together and it's just so. bitter! really sums up the atmosphere of the piece concisely. and the slight repetition at the end emphasizes this real well! also i feel like the cussing just fits sooo nicely into the piece. wow. spare talent, ellie!


    3 months ago
  • mia_:)

    wow! what a piece! i found my new favorite word: "widdershins" :) and that TITLE! ellie, this is a masterpiece! "because feelings are for the real ones and fantasy is an escape." that is so thought-provoking! wow!


    3 months ago