Dmoral

United States


she/her | est. 2018
lowkey actively; final months drawing close.

Message from Writer

"perhaps one day / we will meet again / as characters in / a different story, / maybe we'll share / a lifetime then." ~pavana

metamorphosis

August 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

20

ripped the stitches that held together with your
skin, all while crying out, this isn't how i want to live. and
who knows nothing more miserable than walmart at 3am,
where all you can think is, i don't want to end up like them
so you've waxed off every hair off your body, but still
it's not enough, that's why you took off your skin. the only thing
left of this moving on, is telling your lover it's time to stop
seeing them: i want all of the memories but you can leave me.

quickly, wrap the fire around your being; 'cause if it's true,
fire is human (it's living and breathing) and perhaps it can be a
part of you; but all you now is the burning feeling of swimming
in bleach at 7pm after work's done and you found misery the only
pay for the day. and for a person of no talents, you sure do know
how to start one-sided fights with a person who doesn't even realize
you're mad at them.

soon you'll realize this was just you battling your demons in the 
intoxicating darkness of your mind; but until then, keep looking at him
as you're trying to understand everything but seeing absolutely nothing;
you'll end up more lost than you had been. because no matter how much
your metamorphosis- haunts you, crawls up your skin, chirps in your ear,
flys around your mind, bites your goosebumps, taunts your with goodbye
--no matter what it does, there's no escaping growing up in a world
that hates you. but soon, you'll grow to hate it to through the act of
pretending to love everything he put you through. 
lowercase intentional.
Finished: 8/14/2020

i just finished the metamorphosis by franz kafka, and it's a novella, very very short (i had to check it out in a completion of short stories of his 'cause it was too short just to have it) and it's so so weird. i only read it cause it's a classic and i'm trying to read a bunch before school starts, but goodness, it was weird. not my favorite but interesting(?) nonetheless. could you imagine, waking up a big? *shivers*. so yeah, that and a bunch of one-liners was my muse for this piece.

feedback very much appreciated! tell me your favorite lines! also yes, this is angsty and slightly corresponds with the ending of the metamorphosis but really there's no spoilers.

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10 Comments
  • Wisp

    "who knows nothing more miserable than walmart at 3am,
    where all you can think is, i don't want to end up like them. "
    I don't know where to begin with this piece. There's so much FEELING and emotion in it. And I want to pick it all apart and experience this piece in all its entirety, but at the same time I feel like it's better to leave it with its air of mystery. I'm not sure if that makes sense? Also! This line! Oh my gosh, you have no idea how much this thought haunts me in the night, and you have no idea how much it scares me to no end. And the way you've captured it, gosh it was so beautiful and captivating and I don't know how to describe it.
    "but all you now is the burning feeling of swimming
    in bleach at 7pm after work's done and you found misery the only
    pay for the day."
    This sounds like the recipe of a dead end job and it's so angsty and angry and sad at the same time and I love it so much. When I get a job, I'm telling you I'll be looking back at this line for years to come. Because this just hits so hard, for the person I'm yet to become.
    Ahh, I'm taking forever to read your work because of procrastination and distractions and just life in general, but! Every time I come back to read, oh my gosh am I blown away! Your writing just gets better and better each time and I am so in love with it. And this piece may be angsty but I adore it so much.
    Also, are you doing alright? I saw your piece on Prose but didn't comment because I kinda don't like commenting on Prose, but I wanted to check up on you. I hope you're doing alright and if you're not, I'll be sending some virtual hugs your way!
    Replying: Late late late reply, but I really appreciate the GoodReads thing! I'll definitely check it out! And thank you for it!


    11 months ago
  • Landofstories

    gah, this is so beautiful and relatable too. stunning!


    about 1 year ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    "and for a person of no talents, you sure do know / how to start one-sided fights / with a person who doesn't even realize / you're mad at them." oh that line. i don't really understand this (i'll give this a good reread later) but i'll keep an eye on "the metamorphosis" and maybe read it in due time (this poem makes it sound absolutely amazing). the opening line is just perfectly graphic by the way, drew me straight in.


    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Replying: thank you for your thoughts on my story!! It was super helpful. Also, again, this piece gets me every time—it is so good. Wonderful writing, as always!


    about 1 year ago
  • Tula.S

    love Kafka's metamorfosis! and I love this! it so vividly and specifically captures such a realistic moment.


    about 1 year ago
  • ek503

    "ripped the stitches that held together with your skin, all while crying out, this isn't how i want to live." A perfect first line, as always.
    "i want all of the memories but you can leave me." This line is so raw and I love it so much :)
    "because no matter how much your metamorphosis- haunts you, crawls up your skin, chirps in your ear, flys around your mind, bites your goosebumps, taunts your with goodbye --no matter what it does, there's no escaping growing up in a world
    that hates you." The way you built up that tension before the last words is so seamless and beautiful and ahhh I love it.
    Beautiful work <3


    about 1 year ago
  • CursiveLove

    Every sentence in this piece is so beautifully written :D


    about 1 year ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    "soon you'll realize this was just you battling your demons in the
    intoxicating darkness of your mind; but until then, keep looking at him" Very nice :O


    about 1 year ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    First things first: This is really well done. Second things third: The Metamorphosis is the most horrifying thing I've ever read. I read it for school and it made me so unbelievably uncomfortable. I kinda hated it XD.


    about 1 year ago
  • elliem

    "quickly, wrap the fire around your being; 'cause if it's true,
    fire is human (it's living and breathing) and perhaps it can be a
    part of you"

    Wow, your aesthetic in this piece is so intense and dark and rich and *chef's kiss*. I haven't read that novella, but it sounds interesting! Lovely, lovely work as always.


    about 1 year ago