rainandsonder

United States

"the audience is only safe when the story isn't about them."

they/them - probably listening to sufjan stevens

Message from Writer

an important piece by outoftheblue- https://bit.ly/3dBxv5r

black lives matter & pride is over but the fight for lgbt+ rights is year round.

bio quote is from the magnus archives

HEATWAVE

August 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

19

lightning spits from the mouth
of the sky, heaving in the
august heat; the horizon
growls like a dog, white
teeth snapping outside my
curtains at the heavy 
black air. earth's body shudders,
tossing and turning as she waits,
sweat clinging and eyes rolling,
for the fever to break. 
her back arches, veins steaming
into the atmosphere, and hot tears roll
involuntarily while we all
pretend to sleep.  
wanted to write something quick for the heatwave that we're currently in where i am, and this is the product of that. i woke up at 5AM because i heard thunder, which was surreal because we never get storms where i live. as always, comments are appreciated! really looking forward to autumn when things finally start to cool down; it's my favorite season. anyone else burning up? 

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12 Comments
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    AHHHH I READ THIS AND bruhhhh i wrote a piece abt the heatwave abt the same time???? lmao this made me remember that i actually wrote that piece, but fdsja;ljfa;adls this is so fricking good. "growls like a dog" i feel like this little tidbit does so much for the piece, because in this context, it feels like some sort of rabid stray dog, and it enhances the piece so much. "her back arches, veins steaming" ok firstly back arches are a big frickin YES for me i really like back arches ok. and also, the "veins steaming" part really conveys the feeling of intense heat, boiling point and all. the next "hot tears" god, i love that. hot liquid and i feel like hot liquid just streaming down cheeks and burning the skin it touches... wow. and the "we pretend to sleep" part seals this off and i am fricking obsessed. but also YEAH IT GOT REALLY HOT.


    3 months ago
  • amaryllis

    replying: sorry for the late reply, i saw your comment but only just remember i never thanked you! i've been racking my brain on how to better word the last part of that, and i think i finally got it right!

    I love your use of imagery to convey this kind of languid "ugh" feeling, and the every line his so hard. i particularly love that last portion, with the "...hot tears roll/ involuntarily while we all/ pretend to sleep". Really just gorgeous :)


    3 months ago
  • Wisp

    Your use of words is so breathtaking and the imagery was just spot on. The idea of a fever and your descriptions used were just everything. Also, I experienced the same thing where I live. It was so hot the day before and then at 4am I awaken to the sound of thunder and flashing of lightning. Totally surreal, but I loved it.


    3 months ago
  • Wicked!

    I absolutely love the personification and imagery here! Also adore the ending, brilliant note to end the piece with. Can't believe this amazing piece is 'something quick' damn. It's monsoon here, but we're having barely any storms and it's way hotter than it should be for this time of the year ':(


    3 months ago
  • inanutshell

    love the personifications here: "the horizon/growls like a dog" the hostility in this really brings across the fierceness of the heatwave. " veins steaming/into the atmosphere," excellent word choice! where i live it's tropical heat all year round so this is really accurate for me haha


    3 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    "earth's body shudders,
    tossing and turning as she waits,
    sweat clinging and eyes rolling,
    for the fever to break. " ahh the imagery in this is so beautiful!


    3 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Wow. "lightning spits from the mouth
    of the sky" – your descriptions and personifications really give the poem character. And I absolutely love the idea of the Earth having a fever


    3 months ago
  • mia_:)

    uwu i love how you personified heat!! stunning! i looove autumn!! the temperature yesterday was 109 degrees!! lol i died :P fall can't get here soon enough!


    3 months ago
  • Dmoral

    okay, so i'm loving the imagery here and how unconventional & concise this is--brilliant work! "earth's body shudders, / tossing and turning as she waits," & "lightning spits from the mouth / of the sky," are my favorite lines, gosh, the personification here is amazing!!


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    We're experiencing the exact same weather where I live! Or perhaps those two places are one and the same. Which is unlikely but technically possible. Anyway, this piece is spot on.


    3 months ago
  • dovetrees

    this is incredible! 'hot tears roll
    involuntarily while we all
    pretend to sleep.' i can't relate to anything more at this point haha. except for probably, 'white
    teeth snapping outside my
    curtains at the heavy
    black air.' every single word of this is incredibly accurate! i wish i could say more than 'this is incredible', but i can't find the right words haha


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Amazing poem!! I love autumn—it is definitely my favorite season as well. I pray for your air conditioning ;)


    3 months ago