Rachaelgrace (hiatus) :)

United States

Follower of Jesus
LOTR & Narnia
Wish Zuko was REAL
Gryffindor
XC runner
Oldest sister of 3
Enneagram 1
Team Keefe
Let's draw near to those who are suffering and fight injustice

Message to Readers

All feedback welcome :)

Where are the Wanderers?

September 28, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
Where are the wanderers
Who spread their wings to fly
The ones who stay off the trodden path
And aren’t afraid to die

Perfection did you lead them
Into your burdened way
Where you cover every mistake
And let no one stray

Where are the wanderers
Who sing notes so clear
About the thousand journeys they've had
All without fear

Huntsmen did you kill them
With your gilded bow
I ask you many times 
But your answer is always no

Where are the wanderers
Who meander alongside streams
And listen to all the forgotten songs
While pursuing their dreams

Temptation did you snatch them
and tie them up with lies
that promise a soul of comfort 
but guide them to pain and anguished cries



And then I hear a birdsong
After losing their way
And spilling tears to feed their rivers
The wanderers have found a place to stay 
Hi! I added another stanza: the "temptation" stanza to this poem, based on a recommendation from a review :)

Print

See History
1

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

3 Comments
  • Emi

    This is a wonderful improvement! I love this poem as much as ever; you are so talented at rhyming and making a beautiful rhythm to read aloud. If you ever wrote a bunch of poems in this style, I could see them being published as an anthology!


    5 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    Beautifully done! Really enjoyable to read!


    5 months ago
  • mindfruit

    GAHH this is gorgeous!! Each stanza is so well-written and fluid, AND it rhymes! The poem almost seems to have a nursery-rhyme feel to it (except it's darker). I think the first and second stanzas are my favorites :) Beautiful writing.

    Re: Thank you for your kind words!


    5 months ago