Peer Review by JoslynCollins101 (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


That Night

By: Jess C


Darkness. 

It starts to surround me as I attempt to take another shaking breath. Just breathe; in and out. Then my body surrenders, propelling me into obscurity. To fall onto a blanket of vulnerability. 

In the days following, my mind tries to repair - throw out the shattered pieces of that night and rebuild. But I can't forget. I never will. My eyes no longer see what is there but just replays it over and over and over, like a horror film that won't end. I long for her by my side - but she isn't there. My sister.
 


Peer Review

This was a compelling take on loss. Your use of repetition is bold, especially given the word limit, and I found it very effective. There's a chilling atmosphere throughout, and it lasts until the final word. Nicely done!


This might've just been my interpretation, but it seems like the sister was murdered in front of the narrator's eyes.


Nope- I could follow the plot pretty well.


I'm impressed with how you tackled such a complicated subject in so few words. I truly felt the narrator's loss, and the phrase "horror film" added an element of terror.


Reviewer Comments

I would maybe title your story with something like "On Repeat".