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Message to Readers

This is my final so please give me feedback! Is the pacing good? Can you understand the themes? Is the syntax too jarring? Anything that seemed contrived? I'm not a great writer and I always look to improve off of others' suggestions, so thanks for your efforts!!!

One More

August 16, 2020

I play a game to survive. I hate it.

one point for opening my eyes. one for crawling out of bed. one for ignoring the Demon poisoning my thoughts - or as they called it: depression.

my high score's 164. 

I play because I don’t have a choice. the doctors told me I needed treatment to survive, then disappeared after I couldn’t pay the bills. just like Daddy did when he learned his girlfriend was pregnant.

Mama says I've changed, but that's the religion in her talking. I caught her smiling yesterday - the first time since Sissy’s funeral.


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  • August 16, 2020 - 8:29pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Century Friend

    So human. You really delved into the character's life and the people in it. Awesome job, and good luck in the competition!

    6 months ago