Dmoral

United States

♕ | she/her | est. 2018
summer hiatus coming
then i'll be back for a bit, before leaving for good.
WTW's memorable place. i've grown as a writer, met amazing people, changed as a person; i fell in love. & you've read about it all.

Message to Readers

cross-posting 'cause i'm running low on material *shrugs*

you are not enough.

August 13, 2020

FREE WRITING

12

no, you are never enough. and all those ”i love you”s
were phrases in the form of coins (you were the only rich
a man never wants to be), constantly you throw them into your
wannabe lover’s well of romantic fantasies; but this wish,
will never come true for you because you are not enough,
nor you never will be. so even though you just wanted to be
a person someone takes their earbuds out (because they
actually care what you have to say instead of nodding), that
doesn’t mean you ever will be. because you do not get to feel
the beauty after a waxing, you are nothing but the wax that burns the
person-you-pine-for‘s skin; they’re screaming at you ’cause you
are not nor will ever be worth the pain to them. and yes,
you are the definition of agony and loving you would be a
monstrosity, because if you mean nothing one to anyone then,
why would they dare to love and care for you? no, you are not
enough to be loved and you never will be. so throw away
that weed (just as they did with you) you’re using to count hopes
with because the answer is clear, right here: no, they love you not.
and take your tears and collect them in a dirtied jar (do not waste
the clean ones); pour it into the lake off the highway; pluck out
your heart; carve it into a million pieces; then drop the damn thing
in after it. since no one will ever love you, why hold such an organ
that simply wastes space? so no, you weren’t enough. you are not enough.
you will never be enough.footnotes: tell me, are you truly crying? can't you see they've convinced you that these lies are truths and that's the reason behind your hurting? darling, if only you knew how much i loved you; then, you'd know you were enough.
tell me, are you truly crying? can't you see they've convinced you that these lies are truths and that's the reason behind your hurting? darling, if only you knew how much i loved you; then, you'd know you were enough.

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  • August 13, 2020 - 9:24am (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • SunV

    This piece captured everything perfectly. It is a representation of everyone's thoughts and feelings, because no matter how much we hear the happy phrases, there will always be other, not so happy thoughts lurking around.

    And the footnotes, oh the footnotes! It is just a perfect ending to the whole thing.

    Thank you dmoral, thank you for everything.


    5 months ago
  • Wisp

    I remember reading this on Prose and seeing you post it here. It hit so hard then and it still does now, because you’re opening up deep insecurities, you’re opening up old wounds and showing the things we wished we didn’t think in the cover of night. You’re showing a side of writing that is rarely seen, a side of darkness and that is rarely even focused on it writing, unless there’s some sort of twist at the end. And I admire you for writing it so boldly and so truthfully and so real. Because these are the kind of thoughts that haunt me, the kind of thoughts I think that I deserve, the kind that tell me everything I think of myself as—and you nail it so beautifully and breathtakingly. You capture what it means to cry asleep at night, tears staining pillows and hair sticking to faces. It’s just a lovely thing to behold and be able to read. And the footnote at the end just about broke my heart. It was so sweet and endearing and gosh everything about this was lovely. Thank you for this.


    5 months ago
  • Bushra Shaikh

    This really made me cry....
    Beautiful !


    9 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    i think something's a little wrong w/ the footnotes being copy and pasted onto the actual piece but god, do those footnotes give us good payoff. all this about 'not being enough' and the footnotes just hit like ;-;. i love the metaphor of the coins in the beginning, about throwing them into wells and wishing on them. it's such a lovely image. the earbuds bit... and oml that part about wax. "’cause you
    are not nor will ever be worth the pain to them." oh god. and following up with that line abt "agony" and the dirtied jar and pouring it by the highway is such a vivid and beautiful (yet sad, because of the comparison to clean jars) and image. the heart shattering into a million pieces. maybe because this is almost like smth i've been reading recently, but this just hurt in all the goddamn right places but the footnotes came and nailed the coffin down. truly brilliant, Queen <33333


    9 months ago
  • Theo_13

    Wow. It's beautifully written.


    9 months ago