N.

United States

i've never been one for theatrics, and yet...

september 2018 - august 2020

if i can't escape my fate, then i will make myself a story

Message to Readers

on october 31, 1517, legend has it that the priest and scholar martin luther approached the castle church in wittenberg, germany, and nailed a piece of paper containing the 95 revolutionary opinions that would begin the protestant reformation to the door.
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sometimes change is necessary

martin luther's grievances, act i

August 10, 2020

FREE WRITING

6
/anatomy of a breakdown/

oyster crackers and soup stare me down
and i feel sick again, but my stomach turns from
ichor-stained words, vile thoughts embedded
like eggshells in grey matter. 

you’re right, ma’am: i hold onto the past and
i hate the way it hurts, i cling to discomfort like
a leaf too stubborn to plunge, but hey, 
anger is an emotion, too (and i need its false hope)

god, i’m so toxic, caustic, i’m the 
hydrochloric acid that burns my hands and eyes
at work, i’m the stone in your shoe and if i bleed,
i hope you will too. 

and if i were a sword, fuck, i’d be stained crimson
with rust and shame, because i’ll do nothing but blame
myself for another’s misfortune,
(but i might be a little deadly, too)

and yet i wonder why my red lips and tears aren’t 
the formula to charisma (maybe they’re born with it)
because i’m still the loose thread, 
cut from the sweater and forgotten (as usual).

and it’s true, i have no empathy anymore;
but they built me from flaws and scrap metal,
picked me apart with scrutiny and pliers
(so now i’ll do the same)

you were one more drop in the bucket, 
the aggressive heat that made the pot boil over;
here i lie, spilled on stove and floor.
are you happy now?
a tragedy in four acts.

currently coming off the crest of what was either a super sick metamorphosis or a macbeth-tier mental breakdown. regardless, it sucked and it still sucks. (note the slight hyperbole, i did not hallucinate floating daggers or my dead rival)

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  • August 10, 2020 - 12:02pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Wisp

    I'm learning about the Protestant Reformation and about Martin Luther and his demands and stuff in history, and the first thing my mind went to was this piece. You probably don't check this account anymore, but I'm just sorta aimlessly wandering and I remembered this piece and here I am. What's the purpose of this comment? Don't ask me, I haven't written anything of substance in days. But thanks for this, I always loved your writing.


    about 2 months ago