Common girl with uncommon dreams.
Perspiration always turns to perfection :-)
Hopeless Romantic

Message to Readers

This is my first try of something so short. PLEASE GIVE YOU RFEEBACKS :) <3

Creepy Incident

August 9, 2020

I hurried to the hospital. My footsteps got heavier. I heard her wailing for me, echoing in my heart. 
Assuming and accepting the harsh truth I pushed the door. 
My body went numb. Heart took a pause from pumping.
I observed her.
Instantly I pressed her hand. 
She cried, “Dad.”
The curve dropped--- flat.

Her last word before she entered a new world. 
A world where she is free and free.
word count 77
date published draft 1 : 10-8-2020

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  • EliathRose

    Review should be coming through!

    about 1 month ago
  • PureHeart

    I only just noticed your comment on my work! Thank you so much for your encouraging words!

    This piece is extrememly powerful. What I struggle with most in storytelling in general is 'showing not telling.' But you have showed the readers the intense situation the characters find themselves in. The emotional build up before the grave truth of a vharacter passing away, all told so beautifully. Very deep, as always!

    about 1 month ago
  • EliathRose

    Wow. This is so sad but sweet at the same time. I might have time to review sometime soon here, so if you’d like, I would be happy to leave one on this piece.

    about 1 month ago