Identity crises

Message from Writer

"The business of words keeps me awake.
I am drinking cocoa,
the warm brown mama."
–Anne Sexton, Ambition Bird

Flor Africana

August 18, 2020

Mara’s mother cast the ashes and Lelo vanished behind the Malecón. Then the ocean was the sky.
    Mara’s uncle said, “You’re pale.”
    “No, lost. Home disappeared into the sea. He bound me to Cuba after I’d moved to Manhattan.” 
    The fat wind carried the ocean and Mara smelled her grandfather’s porch in Santa Fe Beach. There they’d sink their faces into his backyard mangos, they’d dance to Dizzy, Chano, Omara. There she and her cousins would run from Lelo as he chased them with the garden hose, watermelon popsicles splattering onto the pavement. Lelo had stayed in the wind.


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  • Livsnjutare

    Beautiful descriptions made this so amazing, and a lovely read!

    about 2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    This piece is so brilliant I keep on returning to this over and over!
    "Then the ocean was the sky." - If you don't mind, could you please tell me what you meant when you wrote this? To a certain extent I feel that I do understand the sheer force of feeling it imbues but there's something I can't quite get at... I know you're not on here much but I'd be so glad to know your thoughts. :)

    about 2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Oh this is just gorgeous! <3

    10 months ago
  • Cosmogyral

    Re: Thanks so much, I was really happy to read your comment. The starting prompt for 'Some Slightly Controversial Topics That Are Slightly Tantilizing to discuss, But We're going to Anyway' is up if you want to check it out.

    12 months ago
  • Stumbling Conundrum

    Re: Thank you so much, and I definitely will! You are AWESOME! <3

    12 months ago
  • Stumbling Conundrum

    Re: Thank you SO much for your review on "Walls Have Memories," it helped me astronomically! Regarding the poem, I felt the same way you did when you read it: it's just not quite as well rounded or relatable as I would like it to be.
    I don't think that I am going to rewrite this poem quite yet, but when I do, I will take every one of your wonderful words into account! Again, thank you for your help! <3

    12 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    re: thank you so much for your feedback! I will def take your suggestions and try to put a bit more "feel" for the surroundings and add in that "hanging question" for personal meaning. Thanks again!! It was super helpful!

    12 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Re: Oh I see now... Fat wind since it's carrying memories within it... I'm in awe with your word choice!! *o*
    Ah! We realise some things when it's too late... I also have a similar story with my grandma. She went too soon. Alas! But the memories she has left behind are secured in our hearts. <3

    Thanks for noticing even such minor details in my piece. :D

    about 1 year ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Many many Congratulations Tula!
    This piece is heartfelt!
    Why did you call wind 'fat'? Just curious to know what does it represent? :)

    Is this based on a true experience?

    about 1 year ago
  • Starting Anew! (still Coolgirl though)

    Terrific job and congratulations on winning!

    about 1 year ago
  • daylightprisms

    i love how you manage to paint such a vivid picture of grief in such few words, congratulations!

    about 1 year ago
  • DX

    Fantastic story!

    about 1 year ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    This is great!! Awesome job!!

    about 1 year ago
  • Spade


    about 1 year ago
  • RemovedUser1

    I know I’m a bit late, but congratulations! This piece is beautiful!

    about 1 year ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Fantastic win, very well deserved! Congrats!

    about 1 year ago
  • Writing4Life

    This is great! Congrats on winning!

    about 1 year ago
  • Kate P.

    Congratulations!! This piece felt SO REAL <3 You definitely deserved it!!

    about 1 year ago
  • Annie_In_Wonderland

    SO SO SO good! Just read it out loud and everyone loved it!

    about 1 year ago
  • Tula.S

    Thank you! These comments are so nice to hear!

    about 1 year ago
  • elliem

    Congratulations on winning!!! This piece certainly deserves it. The story you tell is sharp, dark, and gorgeous, and you use colours so well (e.g. the mangoes, the ocean/sky, the ashes, etc.) to bring out the tone of this piece. You tell Lelo’s story beautifully.

    about 1 year ago
  • Huba Huba


    about 1 year ago
  • Anne Blackwood


    about 1 year ago
  • Bertrand

    Congrats on the win! Your piece is really great.

    about 1 year ago
  • ~Zoe~

    Yay! Congratulations! :)

    about 1 year ago
  • Century Friend

    Congratulations on the competition!!! I love the dialogue in this, and the way your descriptions tell the story themselves.

    about 1 year ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Congratulations on the win! A huge accomplishment!

    about 1 year ago
  • beth r.


    about 1 year ago
  • inanutshell

    congratulations on the win!! :))

    about 1 year ago
  • outoftheblue

    simply beautiful. congratulations!

    about 1 year ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    congratulations for your win <3

    about 1 year ago
  • sci-Fi


    about 1 year ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Congrats! This piece is wonderful!! <3 :)

    about 1 year ago
  • poetri

    Congrats! What a wonderful piece!

    about 1 year ago
  • avoiding the big bang

    i'm so glad this won! this piece is stunning. congrats!

    about 1 year ago
  • Katenewell

    Congrats on the win! You deserve it!

    about 1 year ago
  • sunny.v


    about 1 year ago
  • CursiveLove

    I love the way you descried everything gin here. Good luck! :)

    about 1 year ago