uncertainty pricks at me,
seeking for something to consume,
some shred of confidence it can feed on.
i let it wash over me,
let the sorrow hollow my bones out in this
hypnosis of the heart.
pastel skies swirl before my eyes,
worlds dissolving as i know it,
so i search for some belief to hold onto.
hope flickers like a lightbulb, kept alive by conviction
and no one makes me believe like she does.
do i deserve her? god, no.
she’s a protector; some sentinel seraph of my soul
while hell is a sanctuary i’d be lucky to get to know.
she’s my anchor, holding me steady and strong
but she hangs on by a thread, stripped bare,
grounding me at her rock bottom.
is this why it’s so hard to let her go?
if ignorance is bliss, then knowing is the realisation that
there are no winners here in the inevitable aftermath —
neither of us will walk away unharmed,
and no one will hurt us like we do.
- two mini poems making up one about co-dependency, mirroring the relationship portrayed here
- petition for me to stop always using religious imagery - i’m so over it but also my brain’s like: how bout just one more time...