PureHeart

United Kingdom

~ i grew a flower that can't be bloomed, in a dream that can't come true ~

| joined August 16, 2018 |

Message to Readers

Had to change the plotline slightly for... reasons. Slightly annoyed because I fear this story isn't as effective or strong, but let me know what you think!

Let me know what you think in the comments or review section! I need all the help I can get, lol.

Empty

August 17, 2020

The waves hissed, overlapping each other in attempt race to smash the cliffs. Winds whisking between the tidal curves, chilling the foamy tips like a melting iceberg.

Then there was me, a lone figure, standing atop the cliffs, looking at nature's chaotic scene with empty eyes, searching for answers.

Gazing downwards, my eyes dwelled on the rocks below, being lapped up by the ocean's tongue. The biting sea air spat at me, tauntingly, grazing my battered skin with salt.

My fate was sealed. I could never get off this island alive. 

What would become of me if I stayed?

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7 Comments
  • inanutshell

    oh wow the descriptions are definitely strong in this. the underlying sense of being confined by the hostile environment around you is brought across by the imagery here - "the waves hissed", "Winds whisking between the tidal curves, chilling the foamy tips like a melting iceberg.", and "The biting sea air spat at me, tauntingly, grazing my battered skin with salt." and then the implications behind the last two lines add to the suspense and leaves the scene hanging quite nicely. wonderful work!


    2 months ago
  • Abby.a

    I could really picture the scene in my mind. Amazing imagery! Great job!


    2 months ago
  • Tomb of Jade (#spookified)

    the imagery in this piece are absolutely GORGEOUS! Wow!


    2 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure (Bewitching Tombstone #Queenie's Halloween)

    The imagery and the personifications are so gorgeous!
    And the ending seems like the beginning of a new story!
    All the best for the competition!!! :)


    2 months ago
  • And_The_Stars_Laughed

    Wow -- I love the new lines that you added!!! They really add a whole new level/tone to this piece -- amazing job!! Good luck! :)


    2 months ago
  • writertobe15

    I like the edited version! Its more mysterious than the last one. The ending is not at all what you expect! Good luck!


    2 months ago
  • Arby

    This is like the creepy version of Moana. I love it


    2 months ago