Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

United States

15
she/her
Christian
[ChildOfGod]
BTS ARMY with a double bias <3
*joined in July 2020*
Peeta Mellark’s girl (9-24-20)

~Semi-active, but I’ll be checking in every so often! If you wanna stay in touch elsewhere, let me know!~

Message to Readers

I could really use some reviews and/or comments. Is this relatable? Do I need anything else?

Three Years

August 9, 2020

FREE WRITING

3
     The funny thing is, I don’t remember when we first met. I wonder if you do. I know I always thought you were cool. I wanted to be around you. Did you want to hang out with me too? No? Well, I know we had some different opinions on things. Maybe we weren’t really similar at all.
      I do remember a lot of the times we did hang out together. The birthday parties, the bike rides, the days in your upstairs, the days in mine. Did you enjoy them? Or was it just me?     We became friends, good friends, or so I thought anyway. But I guess you felt differently. At the very least, you tolerated me for a while. Before you realized. You realized I was disposable. 
     I still thought we were close. We had similarities. And we had a lot of differences. But that’s kind of the definition of a friendship, isn’t it? And in terms of age, well, just because you were older, that wasn’t a big deal. What’s three years in a lifetime? But I guess some people think that difference, those three little years, IS a lifetime. 
      Wasn’t it so long ago that I went up to your door to ask if you wanted to come over? Was it my imagination, or did you do the same with me? Oh, the dreams of the innocent! I was young, thinking that friendship could last for ever. That it could mirror the movies. But I’m not nine years old anymore. 
      I guess that you got tired. Tired of babysitting, maybe that’s what you thought it was. And I noticed your change of heart.Distance, miles spread between us. Did I do something wrong? Did I push you away?  I wish I knew.
     I still saw you often. I still visited your house, we still knew each other. You were still my friend, weren’t you? I still counted you as a person I knew. But not anymore.
     What did you think when you found out you were moving? What did you say to your parents? Did you plan to tell me? Did you even consider it? Saying goodbye?
     Maybe you didn’t know how. You know, you could have just told me the simple truth. The facts. No fancy words or sugarcoating. You could have written me a letter. Or a text. Or an email even. But you chose another approach...
     No more visiting. An unreturned look maybe. The cold shoulder. A silent week passed. Then, without a word to me, you left. Gone, as a fading dream, you vanished. Little warning to anyone around, and you were long gone. You had moved on. But I hadn’t. Honestly, I wonder if it would have been easier if you had just told me that I was old news.
      After a while, when my cousin came to visit, who would come to visit him but you! It’s a small world, huh? Of course, you weren’t there to see me. Still, I waited. Waited for the hello that never came. Waited for the “It’s nice to see you” that I would never hear. And part of me, a tiny sliver, still awaited the apology I lacked.
       When we were about to leave, did you recognize me then? When you looked me in the eye, did you realize who I was? Our gazes connected, and I’ll bet it wasn’t me who glanced away. Was it guilt? That emotion in your eyes? Was it deep in mine too? My own guilt for blaming you, resenting you for so long? I don’t know. But I know you still never spoke a word to me.
     Three years. Sometimes nothing, sometimes everything. I have never forgotten you. Have you forgotten me? Maybe I’ll never know. But I’m making a choice. I know you didn’t ask, and probably you don’t care, but:

I FORGIVE YOU.

And I hope you can forgive me too. And maybe we can learn from this. We can learn that three years doesn’t have to be a lifetime. It doesn’t have to be nothing either. Maybe we can let the past be past, keep moving forward, and let three years just be...

THREE YEARS.


      
      
      
    
This is based off an old friendship I had with my grandmother’s neighbor. I didn’t put a name...but I needed to express this even though he won’t ever read it (hopefully!). I hope you like it; I put a lot of time into this!

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4 Comments
  • Sanjana Sunilkumar

    Re : Hi! I am Sanjana and glad to meet you too :) And tbh, I have never tried LOTR, Hunger games or any series, so I don't really know what it's all about :P Anyway, I still love your other works and will take a look at them ^-^


    10 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    This is so sad. How come everyone has that one relationship that ends up like this? It’s just sad. But, it’s a very well written paper!


    12 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    also thank you for the review and the comments. i haven't gotten the review yet but i'm sure it's amazing. :)


    12 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    soooo relatable (sadly). i really enjoyed reading this, and i did a review as well so hopefully you get that soon. sending hugs! <3


    12 months ago