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Message to Readers
would love comments and reviews!
The satire is strong here and it's /so funny/. Satire works both by poking fun at a serious concept and inflating it, and you've done both of those things here. The hyper I like the narrative voice here - the narrator seems just as 'intellectual' as the others, but they know that and know how to use that 'intellectual' voice to satirize that stereotype. It's also reminiscent of older literature, which can honestly be seen as an 'intellectual'-type thing as well. so many layers here! this is truly stunning in its complexity. This reminds me a lot of the concept behind Duchamp's "The Fountain" as well - that the idea behind a piece is what makes it art, and the huge debate in the art world when that happened. Did that influence this piece at all?
You start a lot of sentences with "and", and this can trip up the writing a bit. there are some places where it works, but others, not so much. try to cut down on starting with "and" - it's good a few times, but when it's used constantly, the charm and flavour of it tends to fade and just become difficult to get through. i think after you clean up the writing a bit, you should look for places to submit this for publication! it's masterfully done and witty and funny and deserves a wider audience. let me know if you want any recommendations for where to submit it!
thank you so much for sharing! i've said this a bunch but this was absolutely stunning and one of my favourite pieces on the site. let me know if you want me to look over a revision of this, or any of your other pieces. i'm always happy to help!