Peer Review by JazzMinnelli (Sri Lanka)

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The Mad Bride

By: Katenewell


The mad woman was burning her wedding dress.
Flames crawling up satin, twisting lace to ash, spiralling crimson from the blank canvas. Ruination. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Freedom, stealing her attention from the dead body. The blood was swelling, soaking the wooden floor. Everywhere. Staining her hands, speckling her cheeks, spoiling her flimsy nightgown. For once, the blood wasn’t her own. He deserved it.
Smoke blossomed, combining with the bitter wind from the window, creating a phantom of vengeance as she flung her diamond ring into the burning decay of blood and pearls.


Message to Readers

This is my first draft, personally I'm quite proud with how it came out but I welcome all feedback and suggestions! Thanks for reading, have a nice day :)


Peer Review

The amazing imagery used in your writing got me hooked from start to end. I'm not a fan of tragedies or horror stories, but I really liked what you've written. Reminds me of a Sherlock episode :).


You've made use of the word limit to convey your ideas in strong and powerful images and words, instead of long descriptions. You've chosen your words carefully, and I have to say that the element of drama in your story made the scenario a very strong impression on me.


Maybe you could tell the reader why he deserved death? Just a suggestion, so you don't have to. :)


Keep writing, and if possible please do develop your story a bit more so that you could provide the reader with an inside story to the scene. :)


Reviewer Comments

Great work! Keep improving your story!