i guess i'm supposed to write stuff here, but it's so much harder to write a bio than to write other things

​mathemusician, or the epiphany of schrödinger's cat

August 7, 2020



when i was twelve i had a choice
between music and math
between my piano or pi
and between the two points i chose the
arithmetic path
from the divide i chose to
and subtract music until it 
approached zero
infinitesimally small, hushed up

and every day i drift further away
from sonatas to analyze spheres
and i feel and i fear
that the melodic side of me will
disappear amidst geometric lines

i am a treble clef hidden in an equation
a whole note graphed, seeking validation
i am a quarter rest, a jagged mess
stuck like a sore thumb in orderly sums

and i’ve had my sharps and flat tires
and sometimes rhythmical arithmetic 
is an oxymoron
halving my mind into fractionated factions

and i dream of a day beyond music sheets and graph paper
where harmony and harmonic sequences intertwine
where differential equations don’t differentiate you from the rest 

i am schrödinger's cat
in both and yet in none
and probability tells me, maybe, there’s a hope 
that rhythm and rhyme will rise within the rigid rules of ‘rithmetic
and sine waves sync with the crest and fall of chords
i take my key in c major into the matrices
and unlock the truth tables 
tables which have turned
because we’re in a new era, a new measure
and somehow two halves become more than the whole
this empty, gaping hole filled with the melody of primes

y does the x-istence of one mean the death of the other?
i will not
until this problem has been

i had always thought of music and math as separate
like 1 and -1, polar opposites, absolute value pairs
and i thought that nothing could change that
and i was right
“nothing” did change that

nothing, zero, the bridge between worlds
separating negative and positive
through the murky divide emerges a pearl
where i am neither one nor the other
but both in a way, like schrödinger's cat
i hover between my two halves

a concave portal in which
eighty eight black and white keys 
fit perfectly
keys i turn -slowly- with beating heart
heart of music and mind of math
and i, through my poetry
lose myself in my attempt to balance
and my heartbeat syncs with my mind in 4/4 time
and beat

republishing this as free writing bc i actually like it (used to be for writing streak)


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  • August 7, 2020 - 12:56pm (Now Viewing)

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  • outoftheblue

    dude this is actual work of art wtf
    "and every day i drift further away
    from sonatas to analyze spheres
    and i feel and i fear
    that the melodic side of me will
    disappear amidst geometric lines"
    *adds to weekly highlights immediately*

    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow, this is so good! I love tge way you marry music and math in such a delightful poem. Such beautiful word choice. Amazing poem!

    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    This popped up in my feed so I'm back to shower you with more praises

    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    i love this?? like wow, you have such a good grasp on rhythm and making your pieces flow, this feels like it just poured straight from your brain. honestly it's kind of funny that music is seen as an art and math is seen as completely separate, since math is so involved in music! really love this!

    3 months ago
  • bellairet

    Oh god, I think this is one of the best pieces I've read here! The flow, the way there's a subtle rhythm and rhyme, the little clever references sprinkled throughout, the beautiful word choice, the exploration of being torn between two things and realizing maybe they're not so different after all.. It's just so perfect. I really really love this one.

    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Well I actually *love* it

    4 months ago