Annie_In_Wonderland

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August 6, 2020

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

47
    Rice piled on my plate like a cold white ant bed. Mom adjusted her glasses again. Perry dug her tongue into her cheek. She exaggerated a sigh, and Mom took the bait.
“Don’t you like the rice, Perry?”
“Not hungry.”
“Gram said Chinese was your favorite,” Mom said. She cut a limp vegetable and popped it in her mouth.
“Not yours,” Perry replied coldly. Mom’s proud posture humbled itself. I looked at Perry; she was unrepentant. I lowered my eyes and poked at my food, silently wishing the divorce had only separated Mom from Dad.

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  • August 6, 2020 - 6:24pm (Now Viewing)

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22 Comments

  • Starting Anew! (still Coolgirl though)

    This is CRAZY GOOD! NO WONDER YOU WON SECOND PLACE-HOW CAN YOU WRITE SO AMAZINGLY? WILL YOU PLEASE TEACH ME?


    about 1 year ago

  • Holy_Grail

    Really great story. Welldone!


    about 1 year ago

  • DX

    Great story!


    about 1 year ago

  • barelybear

    Well done on the win! This piece is great :)


    about 1 year ago

  • Annie_In_Wonderland

    Thank y'all so much for all the kind comments!!


    about 1 year ago

  • RemovedUser1

    This is beautiful! I love it! Congrats! Also, your bio is amazing XD!


    about 1 year ago

  • birthdaycandles

    Wow the descriptions here and the tense atmosphere you’ve created make this piece so fun to read! I felt like I was spying on them from behind a doorframe for some reason lol, fantastic win well done!!


    about 1 year ago

  • Writing4Life

    Amazing! Congrats on 2nd place :D


    about 1 year ago

  • Tula.S

    love this. that last sentence is beautiful.


    about 1 year ago

  • Avril

    This piece is so good! Congratulations!!


    about 1 year ago

  • FantasyOtter12

    Congratulations!!


    about 1 year ago

  • Anne Blackwood

    Congratulations on 2nd!! I really love this piece.


    about 1 year ago

  • ~Zoe~

    Congrats!!!!


    about 1 year ago

  • Century Friend

    Congrats on the win!!! You really did a great job of setting the mood and showing emotion without stating it explicitly, and it's so easy to envision the scene. That last sentence was surprising, and the perfect way to end. Awesome job on this piece :)


    about 1 year ago

  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Congratulations!!!


    about 1 year ago

  • beth r.

    congrats!!!!


    about 1 year ago

  • chrysanthemums&ink

    congratulations for runner up!


    about 1 year ago

  • Paisley Blue

    wow, this definitely deserved runner up!!!! This is such a wonderful, vivid story! Nice job!


    about 1 year ago

  • sci-Fi

    Congrats on runner up!


    about 1 year ago

  • Katenewell

    Congrats on being runner up! Brilliant writing!


    about 1 year ago

  • acrosstheuniverse28

    Amazing job at creating such a tense atmosphere/mood in such a short amount of time! Leaves me curious (but also slightly worried) for what will happen next!


    about 1 year ago

  • JustAnotherDarling

    Oh wow, I was not expecting that ending and it took me a second to get it. When it hit, though, it hit hard. I really like the subtly hostile air that you've created in this piece!


    about 1 year ago