Rice piled on my plate like a cold white ant bed. Mom adjusted her glasses again. Perry dug her tongue into her cheek. She exaggerated a sigh, and Mom took the bait.
“Don’t you like the rice, Perry?”
“Not hungry.”
“Gram said Chinese was your favorite,” Mom said. She cut a limp vegetable and popped it in her mouth.
“Not yours,” Perry replied coldly. Mom’s proud posture humbled itself. I looked at Perry; she was unrepentant. I lowered my eyes and poked at my food, silently wishing the divorce had only separated Mom from Dad.
22 Comments
Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)
This is CRAZY GOOD! NO WONDER YOU WON SECOND PLACE-HOW CAN YOU WRITE SO AMAZINGLY? WILL YOU PLEASE TEACH ME?
Holy_Grail
Really great story. Welldone!
DX
Great story!
barelybear
Well done on the win! This piece is great :)
Annie_In_Wonderland
Thank y'all so much for all the kind comments!!
RemovedUser1
This is beautiful! I love it! Congrats! Also, your bio is amazing XD!
birthdaycandles
Wow the descriptions here and the tense atmosphere you’ve created make this piece so fun to read! I felt like I was spying on them from behind a doorframe for some reason lol, fantastic win well done!!
Writing4Life
Amazing! Congrats on 2nd place :D
Tula.S
love this. that last sentence is beautiful.
Avril
This piece is so good! Congratulations!!
FantasyOtter12
Congratulations!!
Anne Blackwood
Congratulations on 2nd!! I really love this piece.
~Zoe N~
Congrats!!!!
Century Friend
Congrats on the win!!! You really did a great job of setting the mood and showing emotion without stating it explicitly, and it's so easy to envision the scene. That last sentence was surprising, and the perfect way to end. Awesome job on this piece :)
Rohan’s Defender
Congratulations!!!
beth r.
congrats!!!!
chrysanthemums&ink
congratulations for runner up!
Paisley Blue
wow, this definitely deserved runner up!!!! This is such a wonderful, vivid story! Nice job!
sci-Fi
Congrats on runner up!
Katenewell
Congrats on being runner up! Brilliant writing!
acrosstheuniverse28
Amazing job at creating such a tense atmosphere/mood in such a short amount of time! Leaves me curious (but also slightly worried) for what will happen next!
JustAnotherDarling
Oh wow, I was not expecting that ending and it took me a second to get it. When it hit, though, it hit hard. I really like the subtly hostile air that you've created in this piece!