Peer Review by JazzMinnelli (Sri Lanka)

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Tears Of A Sad, Sad Clown

By: catsalltheway


The fires burned bright, eating away at the heart of the city. It cast an orange glow upon the sky, bathing the world in amber and ash.

Vera watched as roofs collapsed and dust kicked up. The sun was shrouded as a viscous cloud encased the city in a fog of smoke, watering her eyes and tickling her throat. She tilted her head back. Her muscles loosened. Up here, she was safe.

She had nothing to worry about. A farmer knows her crops, after all, and this harvest was long overdue.


Message to Readers

(The title is definitely not me forgetting to replace it with something that actually made sense with the piece)


Peer Review

I really liked the way you set the scene -- the descriptions are so beautifully vivid.


The second paragraph was particularly powerful. It showed the toxicity of the environment as well as how safe Vera is from all the poisonous fumes, looking down at them in her safe haven.


The last line sounded great, however, it didn't make as much sense as I'd want it to. Maybe you could improve that a bit?


It would be great if you could explain the last line more; I had trouble understanding it. But, if you think your reader should understand what you've said, you wouldn't have to change it. :)


Reviewer Comments

Great job! Keep up the good work.