Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I think you are really on to something. You captívate the reader immediately because the language is so unexpected. Not only that but you express a realistic situation through an entirely different approach, and I at least value that very much.
My main general suggestion is to think of exactly what you are trying to say (some writers know what they are saying in a piece while others do not) and try to flash it out at least once in each stanza. Make it subtle but I do think the piece might need a teensy bit of context so that the reader understand WHY you are writing this without being told so. I hope this makes sense.
I just want to say, you definitely should change very little. Even the comments I wrote are relative, and another person might tell you that they actually liked that, so make sure to read those parts that sounded awkward to ME outloud to make sure you feel they need to be changed. I think you are really on to something, your way with breaking gramatical rules is very clean (which is fantastic) and your use of specific examples like the grocery store part is marvelous. I would love to hear your opinion on "The Future In the Past" particularly, because it certainly needs work. Honestly, you know your way with poetry.