mia_:)

United States

she/her | i come & go

est. march 5, 2020

Message to Readers

I wanted to experiment with the second person. I actually never intended on entering this, but I decided "why not?"

finally worked up the courage to submit!

Chocolate Regrets

August 12, 2020

    You used to wonder how she could ever be satisfied with you. Terms of endearment and roses only go so far; you've slashed your paycheck to shower her in gifts. You have nothing to offer, nothing.
    You'd take her out to ice cream; you'd casually profess your love. She'd kiss you on the cheek and say she felt the same, but you noticed how her eyes wandered and her hands strayed to smooth her hair whenever anyone passed.
    Still, a cup of ice cream looks so lonely without two spoons. You sigh and hope he knows she prefers chocolate.

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18 Comments
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    adfkjafdskjads how did i forget to comment on this! seriously, this is just a masterpiece of subtle storytelling. "You sigh and hope he knows she prefers chocolate." a;fdsj;lsd that ending line is just so sad yet accepting. and the smoothing out the hair part is absolutely *chefs kiss* good luck in the competition!


    over 1 year ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Simply beautiful!
    How do you write so good!!


    over 1 year ago
  • c.kem

    The last line is so simple yet touching. I also love how you chose a less obvious action such as smoothing her hair, as opposed to outright flirting. It goes to show how little actions say just as much. Wonderful job! I'm also new to WTW and would love some feedback on my first piece.


    over 1 year ago
  • outoftheblue

    this is so subtly beautiful with your intricate details gahhh

    mia teach me your ways ;)


    over 1 year ago
  • Ren(hiatus)

    I couldn't understand this before so I didn't comment but now I read it again and it's written very well! I think at least I understand it now? It's about one sided love right?


    over 1 year ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Thank you so much *grins like an idiot* <3


    over 1 year ago
  • Writing4Life

    Really really good! I reviewed, should get it soon <3


    over 1 year ago
  • dahlia

    oh myyy my heart was in for a ride with this it's tugging at all my emotions NOO this is so subtle yet succinct. i love


    over 1 year ago
  • erin!

    replying: hi mia, nice to meet you! i'm glad you're back from your break, you seem so sweet and kind :)


    over 1 year ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Replying-- I will take that into consideration :) I think this piece will change a lot once I get those peer reviews I know ppl wrote but never got delivered bc they r prolly working overtime to get all these reviews out.. your suggestion could help me cut a word and get back down to 99 though... ceased instead of stopped playing


    over 1 year ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Re: Thanks a ton Mia! I wish I could come there and draw it!! *o* <3

    Ahh! This is so beautifully done. I'm in love with it... <3 Amazing references of ice cream and her action of smoothening her hair.


    over 1 year ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Ooh this is so wonderful in its simplicity and I'm dying now. One thing, though: the pronouns in the last line confused me a bit? Who's he?


    over 1 year ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    replying--thanks for the critique you definitely weren't too harsh! I tried changing the ending a little bit but you are right about the second to last sentence; I was wondering if there would be a different word to use rather than cycle?


    over 1 year ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    its so saaaaad but i love iiiiiiiiiit
    its so well written and I love the way you told a very long-seeming story in only 99 words. pretty snazzy. youre awesome, keep writing!!


    over 1 year ago
  • addy_24

    This is amazing! Loved how you wrote in second person. Such a sad piece though :(


    over 1 year ago
  • happy butterfly

    wow this was so powerful yet subtle at the same time.i love it<3
    also thanks for the comment.it means alot.ive been trying really hard to improve,and i think im finding my style,so it makes me smile when i see someone says im improving and its not just in my head lol


    over 1 year ago
  • Stone of Jade

    oh wow! that last line ties this piece up so beautifully!! I love this even tho it is so sad


    over 1 year ago
  • Lata.B

    Aw, I love the way you wrote this! I could really feel the emotion here. Ugh, I HATE these kinds of people in a relationship.
    Replying- Thank you so much for your comment!


    over 1 year ago