Peer Review by Huba Huba (United States)

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Going Home

By: ArtCat

“Casey?” Grandma asked me. I bit my lip and shook my head, “it’s Sarah.” It was the fifth time today she called me Casey. She shuffled to the kitchen and reached for her favorite teacup on the top cupboard. “Jack!” she called, “come help me!” I rushed over to help.

“Where’s Jack?” Her large brown eyes locked with my mine. I saw the worn creases around her eyes.

“He’s not here,” I said softly, “he’s gone.”

“Gone?” Grandma wrinkled her brow and looked at me with confusion. She clutched her pearl bracelet; the last gift grandpa had given her.

Message to Readers

I would like some tips on grammar and writing style.

Peer Review

I thought this constant confusion of names the Grandma had was interesting, and I really wanted to find out why and what happened with the situation.

The constant mistaking of names definitely brought an idea, how the Grandma seems to be living in the past and confusing reality with the past.

I'm confused with who everyone is. You spent most of the piece showing how the Grandma mixed up the protagonist's name, and only indicated that Jack may be the grandfather because of how she clutched the pearl bracelet. Who's Casey?

This is an interesting piece, and I like your idea. Keep up the work!

Reviewer Comments

I think that it would be interesting if you added in more of what the protagonist felt like when he/she got mistaken so many times. If I were in the protagonist's place, I'd be pretty upset with how the Grandma only thinks of all these other people, and doesn't value my presence.