Peer Review by rainydayz (United States)

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Where am I?

By: Sanjana Sunilkumar

 What kind of a place is this? It stinks. I have been walking here for two minutes now,  and this place seems to have no end. Smelly water was all I could see.
 Hey, what's that ray of light? When did the sun become a circle, I thought, and opened the heavy circular iron plate. What? What is this? Towers and buildings everywhere? Look at those humans! Men and women wearing weird clothes? What is happening? What are those machines farting all the way? Where is the king's castle? My goodness, where am I? 

Word count: 94
Have cut many lines due to the restriction :)
Thanks for reading! 

Message to Readers

Woohoo... managed to do it within 99 words!

Peer Review

The first two lines are super strong at pulling the reader in. It makes you want to learn more about what place the person is and who they are.

The end did this wonderfully. It indicates that the subject is some form of royalty. Maybe it’s a princess or the queen or a prince. It also alluded to him or her being in a city of some sort. My first thought was new york like in enchanted.

The line about the cars was a little confusing, but i understood it once i thought about it. the line about the sun was a bit to vague for me to understand what was being said.

I absolutely love the story you have here. The character really shines through and you were able to tell me so much. prompts like these are super difficult and you pulled it off amazingly.

Reviewer Comments

please let me know if you decide to revise this piece i’d love to see how you improve it. also i think it would be super cool if you made this a mini series on your page. i’d love to hear more stories with this character and how it adjusts to the city life and/or its journey to find their way home.