Dmoral

United States


est. 2018
she/her | junior
semi active; chaotic life.
published writer + classics enthusiast.
obsessed with name titled poetry & songs.

Message to Readers

Final draft, please enjoy!

Fleeing Shadow

August 15, 2020

Her golden sandals slapped the ground; rain fell harder, colder; her shadow wrapped around her, strained, yet unyielding; bitter wind rushed past her, carrying harsh whispers: hurry up, no time. 

Glancing down at the bundle in her arms, tears stung Heidi's eyes. Life faded from her baby: his cheeks paled, his almond skin froze, his breathing grew heavy. She tightened her grasp.

Someone shrieked from behind, quickly followed by the piercing slice of flesh on a blade. Heidi's bones rattled; goosebumps pricked her skin; sweat mixed with rain. Briskly, she focused back.

"We're almost there, Elias," she murmured lovingly.
Finished: Aug. 2020

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5 Comments
  • Wisp

    I read the first draft not to long ago, and gosh seeing the final product is such an amazing sight to behold. I can see where you grew out the story and where you expanded and how you transformed it. Like I said before, you were able to create such emotion in such a brief piece. The story is fleshed out before my very eyes and I’m watching it take place and it makes my mind wander—it makes me think and dare and grow an attachment to each character. The details created something so brilliant and the fleshing out of scenery and events is just so well written. It’s like I’m there and I’m watching everything transform before my very eyes. I love this final draft and reading the first and this one is just an amazing experience.


    5 days ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    firstly, i am so sorry for getting here so late and not dropping a peer review. i read this multiple times beforehand just to get a feel (and it was amazing, god) but i didn't want to like without commenting so here i am? anyways, "almond skin" is just... i don't know if it was intended but i kept thinking back to the actual "shell" skin of an almost, kinda shriveled like that, and that imagery is amazing, with the baby. 'leaving things unsaid' is just perfectly executed here, and i'm achingly intrigued. like a mother running from something in the freezing rain. something pursuing, something falling, the disorienting... it pulls you right into the story. i just know this'll do well in the comp.


    4 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    the final draft is absolutely amaaaazing!! Hope you do well in the competition because this piece rocks XD


    4 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Re: Oh I’m glad you like it! I loved reading about all the parties and pleasantries, I think that that era would’ve been so exciting to live in. I can’t believe Gatsby’s commitment to Daisy that he waited all those years, it seemed a bit extreme to me, but I suppose that the extremes are what make a good read!

    Yes I only have about <70 pages to go but I won’t lie I’m finding it a struggle to finish. Holden does make me laugh out loud sometimes because his character just seems very honest and relatable, but he’s very cynical. I’m just after the part where he argued with Sally and he did seem pretty crazy asking her to get married there and then. He also tells a lot of flashbacks/backstories which I won’t lie sometimes I find difficult to read. I can’t believe that the whole book only spans a week or so in his life, it feels like longer, but I don’t really have any clue where the ending is going, so I’ll be kept on my toes in that sense. Thanks for asking and sorry for the whole spiel! :)


    4 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Wow incredible story-telling! Leaves me with questions and wanting to know more.. exactly as a flash-fiction piece should! Well done :)

    Also see that you’re reading the great gatsby, I read it a few months ago at the beginning of the pandemic, are you enjoying it?


    4 months ago